Cabinet Derg @Motodrachen@awoo.space

@KitRedgrave This is a really good compilation of a lot of stuff I've been having to uncover for myself.

I'm realizing all the 'Therapy' I got was just better ways to be a Slave to others.

Yesterday I stepped out to get an energy drink from the Bodega. I was wearing one of my hoodies and a scale print maxi skirt.

I hear the guy before he comes around the corner in a Nissan Altima, all the windows tinted black, blasting... Something from the stereo.
This is the guy who's been pulling up outside my house at 2AM just to blast the same music.

So, I gave him a nice little Fuck You Dance right there on the sidewalk, made eye contact best I could, and instead of going to the Bodega, I turned left to go the long way around, because he'd doubled back and parked his car there.

And then followed me down the street I was walking on, to pick shit with me.

I saw the gold grill. You don't get that kinda money selling Weed. Just Opiates. So I went off on the guy, with that crazy berserker grin that says 'I'm looking forward to taking my Month out on you"

He drove off saying something about my Mom (You know, my Abuser) so I yelled at the retreating coward "You never wanna Meet my momma, she made ME!".

I'm sick of taking other people's antisocial shit. They wanna beat up the longhaired queer enby guy in the Long Skirt, they're gonna get a rude surprise.

Thinking back, I'm realizing that the standard reaction to me being Upset or unhappy was for people to tell me to not take things other people said "Personally"

Like, what does that mean? The other person Clearly meant to demean me. Letting it roll of my back only makes them up their attacks.

Turning the other cheek only gave them another cheek to fuck up.
Being like the Water just meant I got Polluted.

Looking back, all the Altruism was co-opted to feed emotional vampires and monsters. And standing up for myself wasn't an option...

Because I was always Surrounded by these monsters. I'd stand up to one, only to be pig-piled. At home, and at work.

I'm free of that now. If I get myself into another situation where I'm Surrounded by Vampires... I'm going full Werewolf.

Anyone considering the supernatural impact of all of humanity being just a Teeny bit psychic now that we're all networked with magic glass rectangles?

Because I'm thinking a Lot about myth and shared belief and how that kinda Creates a Spirit World.

How getting masses of Humans all believing the same thing, the same way, can effect All of human cogitation and way we Look at the world.

And therefore... How that rebounds and then reinforces a common idea of a world behind the world.

@MadestMadness Might want to check out the Gnostics.

Because I feel like the Gnostic idea of Christ is closer to a healthy belief structure.

@typhlosion @dogfluid@snouts.online @cozykaffe@snouts.online I'm imagining a bunch of hyperfurries sitting in a conversation pit bottomless, just casually walking it while having a conversation about anti-fascism and socialism while a two meter tall crystal in the center just glows ominously.

Capitalism is just a system that treats Malignant Narcissists the way They like to be Treated, and leaves pro-social people in the lurch for their excesses.

Re-orient your thinking That way, and it becomes really obvious who the Real Humans are, and who the Meatbots are.

@Cilich Yaori: Please tell me I haven't been hanging out in Your head. o_o Because, uhhh... Yeah.

Well, finally, a week after it happened, I'm finally starting to get over having to cut my Family off from my life for good.

I spent two weeks digging up why I felt age-regressed, scared, unable to make decisions and hear my inner voice.

My parents and a bunch of bosses had used me, gaslit me, and treated me like I was a Thing, not a Person. It was so pervasive, I just thought Everyone was an Asshole until proven Otherwise, because I couldn't tell Real criticism from Malignant narcissism.

And along that path, I realized something Else: The Malignant Narcissists don't want you to see them, Ever. They'll say they're anything But, that they're really your Best Friend, or Love You, or just want you to be Happy, but then they go and Do things that are Just for Them.

It resulted in a people-pleaser mentality for me, that developed into a Pathology: No matter how well you do, you're set up to Fail. Why?

Everyone around a Narcissist has to Fail. If you start Succeeding, they will come Right Over to make you feel like shit and that you have to Work Harder.

I never tired out, I just sickened physically and almost Died from the stress of dancing around to keep the other person Satisfied, Happy, and their stated goals accomplished.

And I kept doing it, well after the Narcissists had made up their minds that they wanted Rid of Me, but They were the ones who Hired Me. So, eventually, it came down to 'Never be late again or I fire you'

So I fucking blew him up and Quit. Now that I can see that nothing Those Men and Women said to me was True, or Honest, or Thought Thru...

Well, they tried to project onto ME that I was worthless, disappointing and needed to Do Better. So, I became Superhuman, and could Do everything.

And then they Hated Me. Because I called their Bluff, they wanted to have something they could Yell at someone About.
And after a certain point, they start getting nitpicky about minor details, and things they Swear they told you to do... But you know they never did.

So I went into it wanting to be Productive, and helpful, and keep things Clean, and They Wanted, deep in their hearts... For their Businesses to Fail, and for it to be someone else's fault.

And they're Everywhere. They've Spread and deepened and they're out there Destroying Lives.

So, I'm starting a new series of Posts soon: How to Identify these people, and how to cut them off. Because nobody deserves to be a Vampire Victim.

If you had two grand and a week to party with, how would you spend it?