Cabinet Derg @Motodrachen@awoo.space

Hardest part for me is that I don't feel like a name or pronoun change is really required, what you see is kinda what you get with me.

Only issue is I could never go by Mx. Max. That would really trip ppl up

Losing eighty pounds in two years is equivalent to sourcing a thousand calories a day from body fat.
That's a stick of butter. Every day.

Everyone here is non-binary and Gay. Like at the same time.
This causes a superposition paradox unless what we're creating here is a quantum gender waveform.

And if that is the case... How can we harness this quantum gay for the forces of good?

Feeling better. Kerithe has trouble with expressing anger and fear because they were always my job. She's not used to being incarnate and angry, she couldn't identify the emotional state because it feels so different from my anger.

So I have to feel angry For her, and I'm not angry about anything. But it's helping.

Just got hit with a sobbing fit out of Nowhere, for no reason.
Just... Crying. Like someone had Died. Like something had just been lost forever out of nowhere.
I keep getting hit with these. I keep getting knocked over by my adrenal gland, and it's almost impossible to feel Male with these feelings of extreme vulnerability and needing comfort can just come up behind me and knock me out.
And it always happens four or five days out of phase with my Wife's menstrual cycle.

I went out to Wal-mart today.

I never do that.

I had a realization though. I'm already so weird and distinctive compared to everyone else that it's not even applicable if I'm a Boy Weirdo or a Girl Weirdo.

You know, I used to have an Affinity for masculine stuff. Looking back it was a tryhard effort to get some kinda social recognition, but there were some things I actually enjoyed where Testosterone was the primary factor.
Not... so much any more. I'm back to where I was at 17, with my weird aunts telling me all men are rapists.

...Thanks, Real World.

I feel vaguely guilty that most of my interest in transition is sexual in nature.
But like... In every other facet of my life, I'm already pretty feminine on the down low. :/
And Physically, I've always wanted to be a hermaphrodite. I know it's not feasible but it's how I've identified for years, ever since I learned what it meant while studying Greek mythology.
Just... I really want Lips down there.

Nonbinary Creamer

I want to say I'm anxious right now but that doesn't really capture what I'm feeling.

I feel like my belly is so full of fire that I can't figure out what color it's supposed to be. It's like it wants to come out as a shout in enochian, but I'm in no way equipped to say what I feel.

This is when I wish I'd been like the rest of my family and fluent in a musical instrument from ten years old. I feel like electric guitar could express this feeling.

Also, this might be some internalized toxic masculinity, but...
I really didn't feel comfortable coming out and presenting more Femme until this last year because I'd already had so much trouble getting taken seriously in the Male Hierarchy. I'd been lied to that Achievement was the gold standard and would get you Respect.
It only gets you resentment from the older men who control things. So fuck that, I'm more than satisfied with how many punched spaces I have on my "Man Card"

I've come to the conclusion that most nonbinary folks are saying "Fuck being a man Or a woman, I just wanna be Hot"

And they're Correct. Most all of ya Are Hot. <3

(that's a lie, we're all hot)

You know, go back thru victorian monster fiction.
Compare to Classical era monsters.

Victorian era monsters are just monstrous avatars of various mental illnesses. It was all to demonize the mentally ill.

I have my first General practitioner visit in like five years, I'm actually kinda scared as hell.

@budgiebin@snouts.online Granted, this is only a step away from 'Attack Helicopter', But to be fair, I'm wholeheartedly a Dragon, and we're only a step away from attack helicopters too, according to Game of Thrones.

@budgiebin@snouts.online and I have an old cultural portmanteau in-joke of "that's no lady, that's my Wife" and "That's no Moon... that's a Battlestation" that really captures the essence of her gender co-ordinate:

"That's no lady, That's a battlestation."

You know, everyone says to support trans women, but TBH I'm supporting so many with so many different problems that I'm having trouble meeting my obligations.

Like, in all honesty, I have a general problem with saying No when someone needs help. Not complaining, just tired. XD

I've had to help so many people with so many different and interconnected problems, issues, quandaries, crises, and Big Moods lately that I'm a little dizzy.
It's really bad for the transmission to slam back and forth between "Witch Doctor" and "Techpreist" so often. I was stuck in a masculine headspace but Very femme emotional state for most of the day and it fucking Hurt.