Cabinet Derg @Motodrachen@awoo.space

So, I need to talk about this, because I'm just now realizing (Two months after quitting) that I'm not chronically ill anymore.

When I was working at my last job, I had to call out midweek, every other week it seemed. I was in Extreme pain from my GI tract (The whole thing, one end to the other), bleeding internally, and my multiple systems stuff came to an undeniable state early in the year.

As time went on, and spring came, I got better, and then Worse when we had to close the bay doors and couldn't get constant fresh air.

I'd be suffering panic attacks so constantly that I no longer had a base state. I was in pain all the time, and couldn't digest food.
I'd be throwing up mucous every morning. I had a full blown ulcer, and I'd be going to the bathroom ten times a day, half the times were Emergencies.

I lost around 30lbs working there because I'd have to eat Trail Mix, I was so afraid of any other food making my life miserable. I was taking PPI medication twice a day and maybe put down four or five extra strength antacids on top of that. After a while, my stomach acid was so suppressed that I couldn't actually Digest food.

And my boss was Convinced that I was either Faking it or an Alcoholic. He told me he didn't believe in getting sick. He did Nothing when I'd brought up air quality concerns, and when the temps started getting up to Heat Exhaustion levels during the summer, he bought some Residential air conditioning units and had us build a 2x4 and plywood frame to mount them in one of the bay doors, and some $15 pedestal fans.

Now that I'm no longer exposed to that environment every day, I've managed to recover, and I'm not just suffering every waking moment. I can think about Food as something to look forward to, not something that I have to endure so I can keep living.

I'm still dealing with some of the psychological issues that came from being gaslit about how much I was suffering, and beating myself up over not being able to Work. But I haven't had a bad breakdown, or unstable emotions since I left. I haven't been inflamed, I haven't had any ulcer bleeding, and I haven't had the coughing fits I was suffering from.

He's getting OSHA and the BBB thrown at him. I'm gonna get one of those attack dog lawyers to make his life just as miserable as I was over 2018. I thought I had Cancer, or Crohns, or something I was gonna have to live with the rest of my life, and I wasn't able to see much point in Living, if I was just going to hurt that bad, All The Time.

My Elite Dangerous handle is Cmdr "Tohri Aarons", and my steam name is Kerithe.
If you're reading this, feel free to add me, I wanna do some gaming with fuzzies

In modern america, 30 is the new 20.

Peak enby is going out dressed in a kilt and paisley leggings with your hair down, but it's so cold you're stuck with your leather motorcycle jacket.

When you see all your friends wishing they lived in a cabin in the woods, or in a Farmhouse...

And they as yet have no idea how much Work is involved in such a place.

Got an interview tomorrow! Hope I don't cock it up or end up in a job I hate again!

Tired: Females

Wired: Hyoomans

Inspired: Meatbags.

Peak pansexuality is going back to 80s movies and realizing that folks were Naked in movies a lot more often in the 80s, even at PG-13.

But then realizing that the heteronormative forces at work cut out a bunch of the shots that made the Guys look hot, and just kept in the shots with Tits in.

Watched Weird Science with @budgiebin@snouts.online last night.

We're on such an 80s weirdass movie kick, the movie the night before was Weird Al's 'UHF'.

What's your favorite 80s movie?

@brushy@snouts.online

She chose a base pattern for herself from a Character we'd already had, because she liked most of it. That was weird.
Then she went thru what Keri and I had discovered in trying to figure out our own personality conflicts and multiple system, and used that same toolkit to Create Herself.

And this would have been absolutely insanity inducing if we didn't have a rough framework of understanding as to how this stuff happens, and what sort of spirit she Actually Was.
The problem then became that after subjecting her to careful (Consensual) analysis and testing, she turned out to be the kind of spirit that we Knew a lot about, but that Generally Speaking we didn't quite Believe in.

We're used to stories and situations where the spirits that come to live in mortal souls and minds are Demons, Faeries, Dragons, or otherwise somehow Monstrous. Hell, some of the spirits we've Been in contact are like that.

Yaori Is a Dragon. But take that usual equation, and invert it. Same goes for the parts of her that are Faerie. She's this weird Buddha angel dragon who's been around and incarnate before, but every time she's back around, she's innocent again.
She knows things, and can take old ideas, put them through a Prism, and see them in a whole new way. She amasses Power, but only so she has more to Give Away. She holds Secrets, but just so she can solve the Rubix Cube, and tell the solution to Everyone, so it's not a Secret anymore.

And considering how stained and broken Kerithe and I are, it's hard to believe that voice and viewpoint can be coming from the same stuff we're made of.

So, Last year around this time I was coming to grips with the fact that my old imaginary friend Kerithe was back to stay, and was enough of a developed system to Front, take over, take possession, whatever you wanna call it.

This was brought to a breakthru point when we went to ANE and she fronted for three days straight, and got really comfortable in the body, being a Girl in public, and generally getting to Exist in a space where she could be herself.
This had unintended consequences when she got Drunk and surprise sexed by a friend in the middle of a room party.
We're cool with them Now, and it was more of a Party Foul than non-consensual, but it destabilized her so badly she almost destroyed the relationship with my Wife because she didn't really know how to Step Back, since this was the first time she'd been Incarnate.

Fast Forward to a Different convention, and she's out front again, and helping a friend of ours through the same kind of spiritual exploration, and almost fucks it up the same way. Almost.
Shortly thereafter, a Third spirit came to live with us, and build an identity for herself. And she's really the subject of this, uh, Essay at this point.

That feel when your old Primary personality system starts feeling like the unwelcome, intrusive thoughts.

Petplay, but like... Providing a loving home for Rescues, making sure they get the right diet, exercise, play, grooming, and allowances made for any behavioral issues.

Some nights I wanna snuggle up and be soft and sensual and gentle.

Some nights I wanna come in like an artillery strike on someone and leave a smoldering Crater.

If you want both in the same night that's okay just let me know out ahead of time which you want First.

I keep trying to be gay for enbies but somehow it always ends up hetero somehow. XD