Cabinet Derg @Motodrachen@awoo.space

Y: being the third member of a pluralistic personality system focused around a strong binary system has some perks. It's easy to rewrite the emotional tags on memories so they play back as dark comedies, not tragedies, for instance.

Tragedies plus distance are comedies. Pain can be refined into love this way if you know what you're doing.

Also, I didn't realize until years later that the reason so many guys my age hated me growing up was because I'd been trained to be a Mom, and it wasn't a combo they had any ability to process.
And I probably reminded them of their own moms. :\

Actually now that I think about it, most of the guys in my extended family are like Suuuuper enby by traditional standards.
Ack.
And none of them really think about it that way.

It really sets a kinda unreasonable standard for transition when you're the designated Man of your tribe, but by greater social standards you're basically a Girl.

*Big hermy pirate with C cup tits* Where I come from, I'm considered masculine.

Like, dress an enby up for a day of Landscaping, electrical work, irrigation, general contracting or auto repair, and the options are somewhat limited for getting the part across where you're Not a Dude.

Especially with all the surrounding context clues. =P I'm just lucky that because I work with Flowers and Dirt, and the entire crew this year is lanky hippie musician bishounen besides me.

Except that somehow means I'm the most masc person around. Fuck.

That feel when you're only -Really- male because of context clues.

All this technology is great and all, but where's my universal peace, love and understanding?

Gender of the day: Big beasty gender ambiguous brown and red anthro dragon covered in a mantle of flowering vines.

I'm in love with this skirt

I'm just having to accept that part of my dysphoria is a pre-existing sort of hormonal issue.
If I'm up and active and working and feeling secure in my Job, and feeling muscle growth and all that, I end up psychologically reinforced in all the things I Value about masculine existence.

But for three weeks Kerithe has been more or less excluded from occupying the meatsuit, because she can't deal with the physical sensation.

She likes the body better when we're calm, and quiet and doing focused, careful work. She wants to try Estrogen and make some changes to our lifestyle so she can be more comfortable being Soft and sensitive and considerate and sedate when she needs or wants to be.

So it's made me really re-examine why I feel the way I do about mainstream human gender, because I value stuff about myself that's a Contradiction from the Binary viewpoint, but makes for a much more Whole person when that need for definition and exclusion is taken away.

I never felt like my body ever really Decided on male or female going thru puberty. My desires swing all over the place based on how I'm feeling, and follow trends. I know what the hell I am, but there's no polite word for it in English.
Zwitter comes close, in German.

I'm not about to appropriate the Two-Souls thing because we're really Three in here.

And, like... It's hard to consider yourself Trans when you were sorta this way in the First place, and Puberty/Society dropped the ball.

For me, Being Trans... Was the last fifteen years of my Life. I was trying Really hard to pass as a normal cishet engineer boy, and did everything I could to do that and retain my principles and soul. It was a mistake to try and Be a specific thing to fit in.
To get respect.
To get a feeling of Belonging.

I was always a hermaphrodite, something that was Both things and neither of those things. A slur for everyone else, but an identity for Me.

*Preparing to do a personal inventory and systems check*
Okay! boot-up is almost complete, time to spin the wheel of gender!
*Lands on Free Spin*
Well fuck.

Short answer: I'm pansexual

Long answer: I'm multiple system and polygender and everyone in here is hetero-romantic while also being homosexual.