Cabinet Derg @Motodrachen@awoo.space

I sometimes wonder if people understand how powerful we could all be if we lost the hate and alienation and turned that energy into Love.

People will Die for Love. They'll Live their Fullest for Love.
Fear is just a bomb. Love is an Engine of Creation.

Tohri: One part of masculinity I still won't give up is the relative indestructibility. Keri and Yaori have like one Eighth of my hit points at full heal.

Guess who just found out they're Hideously allergic to Bee Stings now! =D

That feel when the solution to most of your problems is straight up Necromancy.

The guy in your head really wants to be a Mom.

The woman in your head hates the typical girly girl look and more resembles an unshaven hippie wine mom.

And the 12 year old in your head is the only responsible adult.

The concept of a deadname is weird as a multisys.

Like... That's a matter of Rebranding. Nobody in here goes by that name, not really. We're like <Legal name> Incorporated.

Tonight has been a damn weird time.

Flipping between Tohri and Keri something Fierce. Considering clocking our heads together and letting Yaori drive for the rest of the evening.

If there's a bunch of buddha nonsense on here, that's why. I just hope she tags her stuff.

So, in one year or so I've gone from almost constant panic attacks, breakdowns, hard flips, paranoid events and general brainscreaming to almost a Tenth of the overall stress and upset in my life.

And now we're down to Just the stuff that's Really Hardwired. The stuff that's really just an autistic reaction when I strip away the normie ways of explaining away behaviors.

We even had Yaori come to join us here, and in doing so, answer All sorts of questions that were driving us apart.

But now? We've gotta start stepping back into Real Life. And that means a Job, restarting the Career, and making Plans as to where we really wanna Go.

And that's Trouble. Because nobody in here, as they like being, can really Do that properly. There's limitations, and it leads to self-doubt and impostor syndrome.

We now know that synthesis and parthenogenesis is possible and stable in these situations. On top of that, certain religious practices can be used to reinforce the good and mitigate the bad as long as the ritual is well thought out and balanced.

But holy hell it feels a little arrogant, even knowing how to do things the right way.

I'm realizing that I'm deeply insecure about who I am because of trauma growing up, and a really bad view of what it is to be Male.

And this just feeds into my people-pleasing instinct, because I feel like I need to make up for all the other men in the world and the awful stuff they do by being Extra helpful and understanding and soft and diplomatic.

And like, it's tiring me out. I feel compelled to go the extra mile for people no matter what and I need to dial that back.

*Changes out of their skirt that looks like shorts and into shorts that look like a skirt*

Muuuuch better.

Download Skype for Your internet connected insulin pump!

ADHD in media: Super extroverted kid babbling on about nothing in particular and a lot of 'Lol I'm so random!'

ADHD in real life: Getting suddenly confronted by a housemate because you HAVE to hear about the latest graphics card and All it's specifications, Right Now, and oh yeah, what's for dinner?

I'm really starting to get the feeling that human binary genders just straight up don't apply well to autistic folks.