Cabinet Derg @Motodrachen@awoo.space

Having your consciousness put into suspended animation inside a full size Pinata so you can go to a party and have fun with your friends before getting dismembered and consumed for your delicious insides.
Or the Demonette I know who's a real party favorite, she'll get summoned to possess a body comprised of boozy Jell-o or something equally decadent, and gets off on being admired, fucked openly, and socializing nude, then being sliced up and served as dessert for the guests.

Meanwhile, Keri has been bouncing around on Here like she owns the place, and everyone loves Her. It's been a while since Tohri felt he had anything to say of Relevance.

Same goes for sexuality. Keri has been popular as hell because she can do sex magic like she was born to it.
Tohri is more the submissive sex toy that never gets to Cum.

He's the big shy bara soft boy who's at home with the feminine aspects, he's okay with being the Mom, the Caretaker, the Shield.

Unfortunately, this leaves him feeling Un-Boy by today's standards. Keri would feel Un-Girl more if she didn't regard society's rules as something to be regarded more as Guidelines she can color outside of whenever she feels like.

And Tohri just wanted to be Normal and recognized as being Worthy. So much for that.

Part of why I feel disconnected from more standard trans experiences is that I'm Both masculine and feminine because of my disorder's particulars, but...

Kerithe is the Alter feminine. The witch who's just as at home in boots and coveralls as she is in full feminine dress. The classic liberated woman who dives right into the Masculine whenever she feels like it.
Tohri is Alter Masculine. Not the Warrior, not the Aggressor, not the Predator.

Thanks brain, but my inflamed prostate is Not a horny vagina. Please stop.

It's something of a cheat, but I'm most comfortable presenting as Male and signaling such, but doing so in a skirt, floral shirt, and leggings, carrying a purse Everywhere, wearing my hair super long and smelling like fruit punch and a spice chest.

At Least at work. It's kinda become my Costume in a way. Which is a bit weird since this style started as a kind of signaling in the Paintball community.

It's Carter's Commandos colors. All I need is a vintage Nelson based pump gun.

Which leads to it's own problems.

Right now genderfluid isn't what I wanted to be it's just how I have to be so I don't go mad.

And honestly it's working so I'm not gonna question it, just do it.

I've never owned a car this Fast before.

Shi's like a big burly comfy service top.
"Faster, sir?"
Yes please, have to pass this truck.
"Faster than This, sir?
"Er... How, uh, fast do you even Go?"
*Approaching 100 in overdrive and the torque just started to pick up*

Turns out, if you're like me, you Can. Really weird circumstance when the Male part of you has gender conflicts, but the Girl riding shotgun for you will look in the mirror when she's driving and find the meatsuit Attractive.

You know, it's actually really hard for me to view transition as a mental health thing on a personal level, like, For Me.

It gets talked about a lot as a huge mental health boost, and I can absolutely see that.
The shitty part is, we don't fully understand the mechanism of the placebo effect, and therefore it's Magic.
And from there, Keri can saunter right over, ask "So, you're tricking yourselves into feeling better with This One Weird Trick and it works?"
Yes.
"We can Hack it, Right?"

So, I have multiple personalities, and one of them is a woman. Not like, super girly or anything, just... Keri is a girl.
And this is okay now, but she's been in my head since '01 or so. And I was ready to blame everything But comic book style split personalities for my psychological issues. It's never your imaginary friend becoming Real, for realsies.

But now she washes dishes for me and talks to a bunch of my friends. It's like the Disney version of being possessed by a Demon.

I hadn't realized how much I -Needed- a car.

Not like, just to get around, but something that was Mine. A set of damn Wings.

This car is so Me. Stealth as hell, with the heart from the mustang cobra

And when you have people who depend on you, and you on them, life gets easier, and your Place gets established.
Even if you're the one who just Always does the dishes and makes sure there's food made up.
Even if you're the one who earns the most money and supports everyone else when times are hard.
Even if you're the one who's always there to Talk to for neutral, wise advice.
And lets admit it, even if you're the one who's there because they Fuck really well.
You have a place.

Because if you do this right, and there's a fair amount of Giving involved, understanding, acceptance, and Love...
You're planting a life tree. Forget Therapy. This particular ritual, if done correctly, will fix most of your problems long term, and over-write any trauma you suffered living with your Family.

Because with Life Tree, you get a second start, a new family, and different rules than last time.

Not equal polyamory, which can almost never happen naturally. You're never going to be everything to one other person, even if you're Destined to be Soulmates. And they're never going to be everything to You.

It's totally valid to be someone's side candy for a member of another couple, or live in a polyamorous household of five furries, everyone with their own set of boundaries and needs.

The secret, the start and finish, is Talking about your needs, and what you have to Bring.

I feel like saying something here, but it might be stating the obvious.
You folks can love each other way more freely than you're already doing. Everyone wants love and affection, attention, respect, confirmation, affirmation, and a close bond with another person, or people. Usually the Latter.

This is the normal human set of needs, and something tells me that the normal human state for maximum health is one of polyamorous affection.

But the inverse then gets to be true. Pants don't feel right, I'll have to be relatively quiet if I'm around 'Manly' men, and the social restrictions that apply to passing as a Guy start to chafe.

Besides, I can't exactly talk about Magic in front of a bunch of Dudes. That's a shitload of what being a Girl is to me. When I'm Kerithe, I can do Magic on People, instead of on Machines.

Also, being Genderfluid is weird because sometimes you'll just Be a Girl. No dysphoria, no social anxiety.
Like I skipped a bunch of steps along the way and I just need to let my hair down and put on some of my Girl clothes and I'm Female.

Though usually it means that I'm Kerithe, Tohri doesn't like Anything loud or colorful.