*Nurbs @Nurbs@awoo.space

@AzureHusky Lookin good!

Someone asked me if I'm a decentralized or centralized hivemind, and I had to seriously consider the concept of an ott queen versus fault tolerance for a moment.

This is almost turning into a vent account because I feel like, so much safer here than I do on twitter. :P

Tbh, her discovering that attacks on my masculinity were the most effective tactic for breaking me down were probably what really implanted the whole "Wow I really don't like being a guy" thought in my head.

So really this is the anniversary of the best broken bone I've ever received. Bar none. :P

It's still something hard to talk about, and like, I still have this fear lurking in the back of my mind that she'll find some way back into my life if I even mention her.

But that fear is heavily faded, I've recovered. I've become everything I wasn't allowed to be, and I'm happy and healthy.

Apparently I broke up with my horrifically abusive ex on this day seven years ago. It feels like forever ago as things have been so much better for me ever since then.

@AzureHusky Sadly for me, like everyone knows it's my weakness and my friends are jerks. :P

@AzureHusky I totally get this. It takes every ounce of resistance I can muster to not just melt in that situation.

@XerTheSquirrel RIP leggy boi

@XerTheSquirrel Make a many legged friends!

It's surprising how quickly I got used to drinking black coffee

@Proxy@snouts.online Yeah that's what I typically do, just keep pushing. Luckily it's not hard to find something to work on that'll make me feel more femme still and today I'm feeling particularly motivated to do so. \o/

@AzureHusky Nothing quite says self-care like high power medical lasers. \o/

Update: Booked a laser appointment, that should help!

I don't think I've been so unhappy about gender stuff since before I transitioned. I just want to feel like a woman again, but right now I just feel hideous.

After like, years of not doing too bad on the dysphoria front, it's back with a vengeance. Like I've stopped taking and sharing selfies, I've been like, avoiding people who typically show me affection, and I've basically given up on fussing over my appearance.

I dunno what changed or what happened, my brain just like, turned on me all of a sudden and I've no idea what to do.

@modest@snouts.online Akira is classic forced tf to be fair.

@Prof@snouts.online No!

@Prof@snouts.online No you need to see my notifications. They're important!

@Prof@snouts.online Post an awoo you nerd!