-> @oneironott@vulpine.club @Oneironott@awoo.space

At least for a few moments, I took it off and felt what it feels to be Me for… maybe the first time.
No reservations, no blockage, no dissonance. No mistaking the mask for me.
I was just me, and gods, did I flow. I could feel it in my speech and in my heart. My reactions and the things that got easier and easier to say. More inherent. More "of course"

I love it. Gods did I love it.

At some point after describing myself but by bit too someone and just embracing how lovely it all made me feel, something changed and I felt whatever was blocking me before peel away. At some point in the process of saying MY paws, MY tail, MY hide… it occurred to me deeply in an indescribable way that that is me. I am me.
That is the base and the rest is mask and glamour. I… have just had it on for so long that I didn't know how to take it off. I thought the mask was me.

That was awesome. Now that I've slept, woke up feeling my paws and had enough time to reminisce, I think I know what the difference is.
See… on a level of voice or interaction in the orthocosm, I hadn't had any moments of clarity regarding my own presentation. The interaction I've had over voice with regards to referring to my true self had been… like I was trying to play at being This rather than it ever really sinking in the I just am This

The glamour fell
It was really tough on there too
But after all these years…
It can drop.

This is indescribable. This is one of the most beautiful feeling I've ever felt.
Right now there is only me.
And tomorrow I'll have to tend the glamour again and bring it up.

But I have a feeling it will be easier and easier to take down.

Silly me. Damn thing got stuck for damn near 30 years. Don't look at me I just…got a malfunction in my optical system. *Sniff*

(( Do I even know how anymore?
Do I even know how to be Vloelei and not just Summer?
Do I even know how to let go in the moment? I feel like I used to know.))

‪Being sick is sorta a nice excuse to lay around but not exactly an escape from ‬being human *sigh*. I'm only partially looking forward to going back to work but in all honesty, I'm tired on sort of an existential level.

I need this vacation to Seattle really badly. Need to just be myself for once. Truly just… let it all go.
Let the walls just… shimmer away

http://kidmograph.tumblr.com/post/165301801929/n0-hum-n

This is striking chords. I can imagine coming upon something like this around Down and I hadn't been able to stop thinking of possible stories and answers branching from it.