-> @oneironott@vulpine.club @Oneironott@awoo.space

Snooze crew
https://awoo.space/media/cfHveElXDMDDpzgJ29E

Knight of wands. Pretty straightforward. I'm working alone today for the first time *shrugs*

Mastodon: mango smoothie, awoos, lots of hugs and supports
Bird site: doomsaying, old friends subtweeting as being "too leftist"/"delusional/out there", literal nazis

I'll take this tbh

Freewriting & Character Design:

Huxley (Cyberpunk Mist Witch Kangaroo)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/12j3K5dutyJhb1e7xJWaENCG7oxk7avjiUi0gGpiVK_g/edit?usp=sharing

Inspiration: https://youtu.be/hT2h2fhzFjs

*catches self with a container of seaweed snacks resting on belly* holy shit I'm a stereotype
https://awoo.space/media/sMeOJV1QLzKVGeIjQC4

I want to be microchipped 💦💦💦💦

How could I have lost track of that? There is much less unobtainable aspirations than I thought. There is just Me, and I am already This, form or no.

Oh. Or were referring to this?

Oh, how i have forgotten what it is to Be. Too caught up in tangible and sensory and tactile and the lack of that FUELS my dysphoria, that i forget the abstract. Forget what it is and means. Forget that there is nothing between me and what form i would have. It is the same spirit.

Hmm...

In all honesty, it's really difficult for me to grasp things related to belief. I'm getting there, but i stress out because i really want what others have, and to reclaim what i had once. I suspect i have more of it in me and am doing more than i give myself credit for.

Maybe my new rule should be "no exhausting topics before noon"

But at this point I'm definitely stream of thought, and trying to muse/grasp things. It has been a lot to take in a short time and I'm still working through all my thoughts.

But i feel like maybe I've been sitting here wanting what others have in magics and such and not knowing HOW.
Maybe it's something I've been doing for a while and never notice

I mean, it's all connected. All brainstuff. Identity, perception, belief, experience. My, and maybe a lot of our, brain works differently, or our perception and understanding of how it works differs from the majority.
But i LIKE the narrative that we are hacking our perception, experience, or even world, and i guess that's where my conceptualization of Magics comes in. This stuff that makes sense to us and alters our path in ways we can't with other means?

But basically the point of this train of thought was the realization that my mind just works differently, and this is my way of working with it not against it

A lot of my internal battle right now is that my knowledge of all this and my worldview in general has changed so much in the past year, but I have a lot of established mental processes that go against this. Basically I am trying to fight my old habits with my new world view.

interesting thought process this morning where I realized a lot of how I have changed over the years has been both the acknowledgement and the manipulation the fact that much of my perception is internal.
A part of it that dawned on me is that it is a natural thing? There is also empowerment and seeing it as hacking, but i guess more to the point is that other methods of trying to feel better haven't worked because they did nothing to manipulate the way that I saw things

7 of rods. Reversed.

After that hesitation last night? Are you referring to that? Oh, I forgot my… are you just being whimsical with me now?

Either way. Seek clarity, confidence. Not doubt or fear

Mango jorts 🌕