-> @oneironott@vulpine.club @Oneironott@awoo.space

I don't know why these feelings are so strong to me compared to others. I suspect that there are others who feel this as strongly but...probably... aren't here anymore. I got really lucky and my brain was really good at knowing what I couldn't handle and when in my life I can handle it again.
For the most part, I'm doing good and these feelings will pass. Nothing lasts.

So I had moments that almost mirrored a certain page in a comic I read, looking at my body and hands and just thinking;
"This shit again" with the increasing existential feeling of "I'm going to be stuck in this body at least until I die oh gods oh gods"

unfortunate conversation in UnNamed Social Place hasn't helped my feelings and I've been trying to forget it and just can't...

I had a wonderful night last night being sappy with cuties, and went bed and had lovely dreams I barely remember right now.
But then I woke up with this sharp, jarring look at myself and everything as perception came shifting back.
I had that moment of looking at my hands and naked body after just having seen and experienced my true self in dream.

Reality is shitty actually

@toybold gee HECKIE hi

I… just unintentionally found out that I was basically hired on to replace my coworker and like well
I guess that points more towards me actually having a place here full time ._.'

I hope you are all well today. I think the character limit here ends up pushing me to post more serious things and I want to even things out a little bit. I will try to use my dreamwidth more for such things.
Generally, i'm focusing on finding better ways to vent, cope, and relieve stress. It has been going well, and thank you for being here with me.

I keep having odd, sparks of dreams. Casual conversations that I can't recall. Boring things, all things considered but....
Sometimes it's with folks I know both here in this reality, but sometimes it's with beings I don't know in settings I'm unfamiliar with. and -I- am unfamiliar, but familiar...
like my consciousness within them is an intrusion, albeit not a negative one.
It all ends up feeling like whispers in my ear, in that it is never as vivid as other dreams.

AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

awoo

*sits down*
*listening to Chicane - How Does Your House Work*
*instantly is swimming through a reverse-waterpark with jet-propelled tubes that fire off into the sky so that one can dive back down.
various glowing toys (nonsentient) about to play with
suspended bubbles of water in the air you can reach through aforementioned tube/cannons

me (in a moment of clarity): Wait this is my magic

kobolds.queer

I feel like I've always been frantically flailing like… I want the experiences and I want to be a more spiritually active being but whether anyone is like "well what do you want" I'm like

I DON'T KNOW
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THERE IS OUT THERE ^^'

I want more. Of something. Somehow.

I'm not sure what I'm looking for. Or what I perceive the issue to be. I just want to do things more regularly
I don't know

I want to learn more magic
Which seems like an odd thing to say maybe
But

Good morning I'm a ✨plush✨