I have basically no self-esteem whatsoever, and feel awkward and anxious asking to work on something with anybody else, so ... having something that I can contribute to and feel confident that I can do is something I don't think I could let go of right now...
I ... don't really feel comfortable backing off or dropping it, though? I worry that I'd end up feeling guilty about not doing enough and letting down everybody who has been working on it with me, and also just wouldn't know what else I should be doing...
I know I don't talk about much else, anymore, because... I've kind of let this project entirely consume my life, to the point where I haven't been taking care of myself at all some days...
I feel like people probably won't care about me much unless I have some accomplishment I can show and say "I made this!", and working on this project has given me a reason to believe I might actually be worth something...
heads up if you ever use gimp for redacting screenshots and the like
with the default settings, "clear", or the delete key, only makes a region transparent but doesn't delete the colour info. it can easily be retrieved
ways to fix this are:
1. uncheck "save colour values from transparent pixels" when exporting
2. put a fresh transparent layer underneath everything, its colour info (pure black) will be saved instead
3. just fill the area with a solid colour instead
3.1. or save as jpeg
I'm glad I've gotten this far, but ... things won't be better for me until I can get out of debt and support myself somehow.
And I don't think I'll be actually happy until I can do what I enjoy and support myself doing it, which ... almost certainly will never happen.
But I like keeping in mind where my ultimate goal is, even if it's unattainable.
corruption, loud sounds
SONIC TEAM PRESENTS
ILLEGAL INSTRUCTION ZONE, ACT 1
re: random glitch graphics, translation mishaps
This is what happens when you load up an invalid character ID, and the game tries decompressing random data for their character sprite.
Boom goes the tilemap. And most of WRAM.
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I feel useless and forgotten...
and despite everything I'll probably turn 30 jobless, without any money, and without having made anything or done anything useful or interesting...
...
I just ... wish... I was better... I wish I mattered, had some means of taking care of myself, was confident and talented enough that I could do something I was proud of...
Poly trans cuddlefloof programmer and gamedev(?). I love poking around in and reverse engineering old games. I'm also super shy and have horrible anxiety, so ... please be nice...
I don't mind if you follow request, but if I don't know or recognize you, please send me a message so I know who you are. #nobot