MH-PTSD
This mainly stems from how those who have abused me were either plastic shamans or tried to come off as armchair therapists who exploited me by claiming to know me more than I know myself.
Given my naive nature/alcoholism at these times, I found myself in horrible situations where I was either brainwashed or drugged. Certain personalities still trigger episodes where I'm unable to distinguish whether or not someone is actually trying to help me...
Good god... I can't stop crying.