Roady @Roady_Dragonfae@awoo.space

Why the fuck do I keep getting strange calls and texts from people I don't know? It's totally random bullshit too. Someone texting me as if I inquired about a room for rent on craigslist or someone asking me if I know a guy named Carlos. What the fuck is going on? Is someone spoofing with my phone number?

Koko, you're a character. xD Glad I can have her at raygun, working on projects on my new surface and diddling with the onboard camera.

All in all... The vampiric drain of Babylon has run my soul ragged. I look forward to a three day weekend where I can recenter myself and get back to my purpose.

I wasn't meant to fit in. I wasn't meant to fit into the system. I was meant to break it. I was meant to stand on the outside and be critical of it.

That's how the shaman lives and works... The shaman sees that everything around them is insane and unsure of itself. Thus begins a plan to escape.

I'm tired... There's no other way to describe it. Just.... Tired...

Tired of dealing with one thing after another. Tired of this stupid fucking society and its stupid fucking rules. Tired of the projections and expectations of other people. I just need to get away from it all... I'm tired of playing the game. I never wanted to play to begin with.

That's all it is. A stupid fucking game.

I'm thankful my younger self left me a bread crumb trail out of this hole.

Jesus fuck. It tastes like they scraped the sweat off a San Francisco tech bro's ass and put it in a bottle.

When your week has you so drained of spoons that spelling is a foreign concept when painting a sign for Convergence.

More often than not, I do come off as perfectly fine. But deep in the back of my mind I'm always fighting with my head.

My fucked up brain is always looking for something to latch onto and beat me into submission with it.

It's this fucked up concept where my abuser is in my head. Why? What the fuck is this thing doing? Why won't it go away?

I keep turning to my dreams to find it, but I keep coming up short.

That feeling after thoroughly vacuuming chunks of broken glass out of your bed and knowing the possibility of remaining microscopic shards ripping into your scales while you sleep...

Vacuum from one too many open windows while going down a freeway + strain of expansion from heat = Catastrophic implosion of structural weakness.

Fucking...Hell...

Who's a happy shib? Koko's a happy shib!

https://youtu.be/qju3FEcKTrw

"I Won't Hurt You" by The West Coast Pop Art Experiemnt and featured in Isle of Dogs.

Listening to it in full, it's been a while since a song has made me cry... The first verse in particular with the following chorus has really struck a chord.

I think I've narrowed things down. It seems Koko has an allergy to grass. I've noticed she's been flaring up after making her way through an unmowed parking strip and errupting in sneezing fits immediately after sticking her nose in it.

Koko Puffs, anyone?

I can feel my body slowly falling apart at the seams... Taking in too many things at once. Having already dealt with too many things at once.

I've been feeling conaistently sick since last Friday. Ebs and flows. My immune system is being taxed and I feel like my body is falling apart.

Fuck... This society. Fuck this society. I just want to get a bunch of us together and disappear into the woods so we don't have to deal with this false reality that capitalism created.

Maybe people created gods and goddesses because they found it all too unnerving that they themselves are the creators?

A little food for thought.

Bleh... Koko got into my trash last night. She only ate half of her breakfast. I put the rest in a treat puzzle she snacked on all day. Now she's only finished half of her dinner.

I hope it's just today that's off and she's going to feel fine tomorrow. If not, I may have to take her back to the vet.

While I love to be involved in a community, I prefer to be my own autonomous entity. Every time I'm in a group and have to play by a group's rules I just fall apart. Especially when I already struggle with horrible social anxiety.

Not everybody can handle being on a team. Those of us who work better on our own often feel restrained or tied down and would rather just go off on our own to get shit done instead of butting heads. And that's okay.

Once again, people are different.