Soreth @Soreth@awoo.space

Now if you'll excuse me, there seems to be something in my eye right now. What a terrible day for it to be raining indoors.

The point is, there is no point.

But if you want to find a thing to celebrate, remember the screen in that car that read "Don't Panic" during liftoff. Thanks for all the dreams, Douglas. You couldn't possibly have predicted this one, but you wouldn't be surprised by it either.

But what the hell, isn't this a wild time to be alive? That's a thing that's never been done before, happening right now, right in front of our noses and above our heads.

This is a miracle of rare device.

Even if the miracle is also basically saying "Eat at Joe's" too.

But there's a car JUMPING OVER YOU right now, falling at meaninglessly high velocities, fast enough that it won't ever actually come down. Do you know what that means?

You're taking part in the greatest automobile stunt of all time. You. Personally.

As has been pointed out previously, this is both stupid and absurd, and a whole bunch of other stuff too. It's enough to make one's toots staccato.

Help, I have too many species-variants of myself to commission art of!

Hmmm. Pondering shark-girls.

Oh sweet jiminy christmas, I misread the year on that batch of files. I was showing clear and obvious signs (in retrospect) all the way back in 2011!!

How the fuck did it take me so long? o..O

I can remember crying myself to sleep one night in late 2014 because I'd "never have breasts" and chalking it up to the one of the stages of grief I was going through - an "if only I'd been different I could have kept him" kind of thing. Hard to pin down further because of all the damaged memories I have for that year. It was definitely tripped by someone's comment about their own transition desires, though.

I've been going back through old chat logs for various reasons trying to refresh my memories about a few things. As far as I can figure out, around 2013 I really started expressing the beginnings of genderfeels, and by 2014 it was well underway. Then 2014... happened... and I fell back into my shell for the next couple of years.

I'm just about positive I would have had the realization about one to two years earlier without all the trauma that happened.

Like, right now I'm wearing leggings and a skirt and a hoodie and this just feels SO GOOD.

I fucking love skirts.

Did I really imagine someone saying "It sounds like maybe you have something of the same situation going on" to me simply so that I could refute it? Did my brain bring it up just so that I could shake my head and say no, my own issues are species-related, never gender?

Strangest of all is that I now have the log in front of me, and a thing that I remember isn't there. It didn't happen. And yet it's something that I remember clearly, and something that was a prelude to my own trans realizations...

...did I imagine that it happened then?

I think I found the very first time I ever told someone "Move always closer to the truest you." I'm pretty sure it was the first, because it wasn't quite right, I said "Move always to be closer to the truest you."

I also accidentally dredged up a shit-ton of memories in the process, and realized that the whole situation with That Monster pushed my trans realizations back by something like two entire years. I was so _close_ to starting to ask the right questions back then...