Sparrow 🐦 @Sparrow@awoo.space

Welp I'm pretty sure my "attachment style" is pretty fucked up-- I only get attracted to people who are emotionally unavailable.

It's like, oh you wanna hang out and you're excited to see me? Instant turn off. You want to show interest every 3 months and otherwise ignore me? Or ignore me except when you want something tangible from me? 😍

So that's a thing I'm going to start working on.

Hi friends!

Any suggestions for a good physical exercise or creative outlet for pent-up aggression?

I currently do practices that require focus & discipline, or a calm and detached approach. I need something that will let me process stupid, animalistic rage.

Any suggestions will help. <3

I'm still procrastinating on 1) making this lesson plan and 2) groking my healthcare situation.

1) needs to be done by tomorrow afternoon, whereas 2) just needs to be started asap.

I feel sluggish though. :(

Sorry, forgot to attach this.

Gonna watch the devilman babyboy and work on this cute project.

I feel dissociated but hopefully working with fabrics will help ground me.

Bc I don't have the spoons to figure my healthcare situation out, I decided to go off my antidepressants/anti-anxiety meds.

I emailed my KP doctor about this the week before I lost my insurance. She rec'd a plan for me and that's what I'm following.

This is the first time I'm voluntarily going off prozac since I was 16 (a decade ago). I'm excited to see who I am off it, but also very nervous.

So far I'm on Week 3 of the decrease. Felt > emotional but I also have a cold, so.

Oh so at this party I was at a few weeks ago (which I wore my binder to), this guy was like "wow I love talking to you, it's just like talking to a dude."
Me: *silently pulls out hair*

My mom got me a bracelet and it's just my brand of androgynous. I'm very pleased.

& co-workers being like "oh sometimes she just doesn't listen to women" me: "ok that's weird, also I'm not a wo-" *sigh*

But also I can't exactly be like "what's up with that internalized sexism, 9 yo girl with down syndrome?" lol

One of my kids has this thing where she'll only listen to male authority figures and it's the most invalidating thing on multiple levels

What if yaoi was actually lesbian culture all along?

The kids at work actually listen to me when I wear my leather jacket, so that's a Thing.

Wow I've been awake for *4* hours now! No thanks, time for sleep.

(I'm a sickly, fyi)

I've been REALLY working through my own, internalized junk about laziness, and my own value being tied into how "productive" I am.

Lately a major goal of mine is to just move slowly and not be fussed about "wasting" time doing things like painting, reading, watching TV, or playing Stardew.

The mist is rolling in across the water.

Take me with it.

I could see the train across the water tonight, hear the lonely horn.

I love that train because no matter where I've lived throughout California, I've been able to hear some part of it.

Do most people want to rip out of their skin on a daily basis?

Just tear it off in slow winding tendrils

Molt and become something new?

Cue Arcade Fire's "My Body is a Cage" for songs that are just a little too on the nose tonight.