I did it. I identified what it was that was nagging at me -- an attempt by Orrery several weeks ago to contact me over something I felt was trivial. This was despite my impression that we had settled into a comfortable non-contact zone, not one where I'm not allowed to contact her but she can drop her name into my inbox and trigger me whenever she feels like.

I sent the kindest, firmest note that I possibly could, telling her that I don't want to hear from her unless it's for some kind of reconciliation, and that I know that's probably not going to happen. And then I cried a little, added a bit where I wished her well, edited it so it was as genuinely nice as I could possibly muster under the situation, thanked her for the many good things she did do for me... and then curled up for that power nap I was threatening if I found myself to be totally inconsolable.

Y'all...? I'm totally inconsolable. Hugs, petting, and gazelle carcasses would be very timely. Just leave them on the sleeping, yowling black-striped lump in our living room. (Wear Kevlar just in case.)