work; mh(-) 

I’ve hit the point at work where I feel like I’ve run out of immediate things to learn; and like there’s a fairly decent barrier around me in growing that I’m having a hard time getting around. I don’t really know where to go from there, heh.

I’m pushing that energy into home lab learning instead; but... I feel like I’m stuck in that stupid point of ‘Well I don’t have the experience for better’ and wish that I could go jump to stuff that’s challenging and interesting again rather than sitting there being bored half the time. Just... meh.

work; mh(-) 

What’s worse is that I constantly have the issue of comparing myself to friends and acquaintances; and constantly feel like I’m a total failure where I am because of it. I know it’s irrational but... fuck my brain, anyways.

re: work; mh(-) 

@faynefluff That's the worst trap to get stuck in, and try not to let your brain spiral around it. Focus on trying to form the stupid thoughts into "if I keep doing x then I'll be able to be just like them!" ^^

Easier said than done, but its what I actively do in my skull. The irrationality of it can only do so much, the brain likes to go "irrational? fuck you I'll rationalize it!" wayyyyy too easy. >.-.<

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