Porn talk! Sorry if you follow me on other social media and are seeing this twice!
A few days ago @angrboda posted this piece on Tumblr, talking about being thoughtful about porn, specifically on the topic of TG (TransGender) transformation.
http://monstrousdoctor.tumblr.com/post/171523446248/genuine-question-not-trying-to-imply-or-apportion
It's a really good piece, and I'd recommend reading it if you delve into that at all. 1/10
Porn talk! Sorry if you follow me on other social media and are seeing this twice!
But some of the replies got me thinking - whenever someone talks about being thoughtful about porn, folks jump to, "can't we not think about it? You just want to take away bad things I like!"
What I want to add is, what about the benefits of thinking about the good things?
2/10
Porn talk! Sorry if you follow me on other social media and are seeing this twice!
Porn - especially amateur, niche internet porn - is where you can see behaviours and concepts modelled that are just not represented anywhere else. Good porn can give positive ideas, even when the actual content is within the realms of fantasy
3/10
Porn talk! Sorry if you follow me on other social media and are seeing this twice!
Here's some examples of things that good porn can get across:
- ways to negotiate specific consent that actually enhance the hotness of the experience. If you tease partners with dirty talk about what you're planning, hearing them say 'yes' can be part of that
4/10
Porn talk! Sorry if you follow me on other social media and are seeing this twice!
- the fact that sex can be clumsy and awkward and funny, but that doesn't mean that it can't still be hot when you want it to be. If you're having a good time, it'll survive a quick laugh if someone accidentally invites you to "cuck their sock"
5/10
Porn talk! Sorry if you follow me on other social media and are seeing this twice!
- the idea that sex doesn't require all participants to climax at the same time to be 'good', and that if the situation lends itself more towards taking turns, all focussing on one person, or just leaning into the moment, that can be better than fixating on a climax
6/10
Porn talk! Sorry if you follow me on other social media and are seeing this twice!
And that's leaving aside more straightforward stuff like, "here's some good ideas you can play with later" or "here's some hot words you can enjoy using, in preference to others which might have connotations or unpleasantness that you can easily avoid."
7/10
Porn talk! Sorry if you follow me on other social media and are seeing this twice!
I feel like when people get so defensive about thinking about porn, stuff like this is what they're missing out on. Good porn can be a force for good, presenting concepts like this in a context that shows them working, rather than in the dry surroundings of an advice column
8/10
Porn talk! Sorry if you follow me on other social media and are seeing this twice!
So yeah, don't be afraid of people thinking and talking about porn, making it smarter and better! Better porn leads to better sex, as well as helping people get to the point where they can have the kind of sex they want, even just by presenting that as a a reasonable option
9/10
Porn talk! Thread over, sorry for the spam!
(disclaimer - this doesn't mean you should talk about porn to people who haven't expressed an interest in doing so. More that responding to "let's discuss good practices is porn" with "nuh-uh, don't police my bedroom!" is missing the point). Thanks for reading!
10/10
