@Fuego one of the hosts of a podcast I listen to does grappling w/ a queer grappling group, and seems generally positive about the scene, but lives in NYC. It sucks that folks in areas further afield probably don't have a lot of options to escape that shittyness, but I guess that's true for everything and not just BJJ.
@angrboda I am very happy that I started at a new school in my team that is in the queer college town and everyone is super chill and gay and nice. It’s a very different experience to rolling with a pile of 22 year old bro wrestlers