Suddenly feeling super depressed about golden times that happened 20 years ago and are never coming again. Blah. This, too, shall pass.

@balinares When this is all over, I really want as many of us who will still speak to each other to get together, somehow somewhere, and basically have our own Big Chill/Return of the Secaucus 7* moment.

(*two very similar films about a bunch of ex-hippies reuniting in middle age and taking stock of their lives)

@zebratron2084 In the community whose long cold demise I suddenly find myself achingly mourning right now, I don't even know where people went. Re-reading logs, I realize I'd all but forgotten most of those people, whom I adored.

This is a horrible feeling. I'm taking it hard.

@balinares And I can't even read logs. Far too painful for far too many reasons, lost friends being one of the most prominence. (That plus the fact that me circa 2005 comes across as so CRINGE -____- )

@zebratron2084 @balinares

Don't beat yourself up to harshly for being different when you were younger.

We all were.

That's how we got to here.

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@zx3 @JulieSqveakaroo @zebratron2084 Yeah. Back then it felt like every day. It *was* every day. It would have been hard to imagine that one day, 20 years later, I would come to miss it this suddenly, this hard.

@balinares @zx3 @JulieSqveakaroo What really blows me mind is that TapestriesMUCK outlasted my ability to deal with TapestriesMUCK, the people on TapestriesMUCK, or the sort of things I had to do to get the attention of people on TapestriesMUCK.

Heh. Puzzlebox and 12Fold failing is not nearly as large of a surprise. *I* was [very nominally; other people did all the real work, mostly poor longsuffering Rik] in charge.

@balinares @zx3 @JulieSqveakaroo And again, the idea that there's just... nowhere. That the RP scene collapsed so badly that people recommend F-List (which may have changed but I recall as VERY minimal effort RP) is just shocking. I just assumed someone would take over and there would Always Be A Party Somewhere. And if there is one, if people are still doing that kind of high-concept polymorphic queer-friendly love storytelling at each other... I sure as fuck haven't been invited. :)

@zebratron2084 @balinares @zx3

I won't say (because I refuse to believe it) that it's completely gone, but it has distinctly gone more animated... VR chats, avatars, and such, and I can't begrudge the idea that folks went all in on making their insane imaginations more visually distinct instead of textually, because that's just how some folks parse things... I mean, I totally get why I went to drawing more than writing...

... I dunno...

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