masked papaya @glip@awoo.space

I keep thinking about how KF's toxic ideals can't actually stand up to intense scrutiny or any light being shined on them like, at all

they want to destroy communities, but all they end up doing is making it clear who actually cares about compassion and understanding and who's all talk. and it's actually nice to feel like I can finally talk about the onslaught of abuse they perpetuate in trying to isolate victims by destroying their connections

@SyrusRayne it's been a really useful tool in the 1 time i've used it for people food hahaha, but oh man i enjoy it? it's... like.. wow the power in being able to do this myself

@OchotonidKnight you only hate it because you know it's true

on the cool side, it means we got a meat grinder so i can make burgers from scratch, which actually tastes better than ones with preground meat

I need to make catfood for my cats again and I'm rapidly becoming exhausted with this weekly process. having a cat with digestive issues is Hell but honestly I wish i'd figured out this catfood recipe sooner so we could've alleviated her gas issues earlier lol

phew. got a bunch of draft written out for the next part. so excited to finally getting back to posting updates

@tastymochafox i cant believe youre forsaking me like this

(steps up on stage) Shadow the hedgehog... is good. (bows) thank you

thinking about the phenomena where people reduce a complex story to really simple, punchy bites they can beat on, removing the humanity from their target

it makes it a really easy way to boost your social standing. "look. I'm not THIS. that's how you know I'm good, actually"

it's a frustrating thing because it's an easy mentality for people to slip into. so easy to dehumanize targets, and then nothing they say matters because "everyone agrees" they're not a real person anyway so who cares

it's so hard to deal with not knowing why people are internalizing bad feelings about you. like I remember posting some art that made fun of sexism in video games and I got people being super rude at me, so I'd quip back, and of course the only thing you'd see is a crop of me quipping back at whoever had their weak take

which then becomes a bad feeling about me that can play into people's desire to absolve themselves of thinking about why they feel bad about a response they got

it's hard

you can't be secret about this shit. it leads to misunderstandings and confusion and hurts more people than need be hurt here. I wish more people focused on helping instead of hurting. I wish more people tried to understand where the other person was coming from without assuming the worst intentions all the fucking time

I keep thinking about how i used to be hated in IRC chats because I'd get mad at the guys in them for telling "women make sandwich" jokes and then that was that

it drives me up the goddamn wall! what kind of message are you sending if you just hold onto your hurt forever, without even trying to sort it out? especially with someone who would gladly do so if the chance arose?

but that never happens!

you'd THINK people would have approached me and eevee for months asking about what's really been up or happened, but no. that's never how it goes, even though that's the first tenet of maintaining a successfully peaceful community

anyway. i want to emphatically repeat that i am happy to openly apologize to anyone i have actually wronged. but i have no interest in appeasing a mob of faceless strangers who love to play with my life.

i mean i talked with my ex over the course of a million long emails after he wrote his callout that started ruining my life, because i care about sorting out misunderstandings

but it drives me fucking nuts when people "punish" me over something i have NO idea bothered someone, or didn't do

@eevee no that would make too much sense. that's too hard. let's do something easy like punish someone and they have no idea why

if something legitimately happened, it drives me crazy that it's just some kind of "hush hush no one talk about it" thing. I don't know what the hell is going on. I wish anyone ever bothered talking to me personally before

frustrating. it's so frustrating. how the fuck can you ever expect someone to know what they did to hurt someone else if no one ever bothers discussing it with you, and everything else is just purely made up

@SyrusRayne all the "non-KF stuff" is literally just KFers running side blogs with the same exact fucking content

I don't know. not being talked to, no one explaining why it happened...

how can it be said that I'm banned for "obvious reasons" when all of the plausible reasons are falsehoods, from the site they say they denounce?

I seriously want to know. I really do not understand. it's breaking the code of that instance to believe in KF stuff, and yet, believing in that seems to be why I'm banned. there's nothing else that makes sense, and even THAT doesn't make sense

i just!!! want to be able to openly talk and make friends with people again, and it feels bad when I'm being shut off from being able to do so at all because of things utterly outside of my control, by forces that love to destroy. it fucking sucks, you know?