green except too damn hot @green@awoo.space

for many years, I stabilized as Rasha (the Really Real Red Dragon) and her human typist, E. we weren't... plural, exactly; there was me-as-human, and me-as-dragon. we were shadows of each other. we didn't swap--Rasha specifically disliked being present in a human body, and E wasn't able to maintain a presence in Rasha's body for long. but we continued to grow and evolve together.

I forced my tech-enabled housemate to get me set up with usenet the next day, and joined alt.fan.dragons. HI EVERYBODY I KNEW FROM BACK THEN. afd was peripherally associated with alt.fan.furry, so there's the link. HI AFF VETERANS, HIIII

(content warning: I swear pretty frequently)

then I moved to Seattle, and a housemate got me onto the internet, where I did my very first web search (WEB CRAWLER LOLOL) for "dragon." no shit, the *very first search term I ever used on the internet* was "dragon." I remember that day, that computer, that feeling, when I discovered newsgroups were a thing and alt.fan.dragons was a thing and I NEEDED TO BE THERE. RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

for most of the next decade, Rasha went through a variety of settings--tabletop games, BBSes, fiction stories--all the time, becoming gradually more... solid. at one point, I was out walking, talking to Rasha as I was accustomed to doing, and I said emphatically "but you *aren't real*." and Rasha replied "then why are you still talking to me?" I didn't have an answer for that, and after that I didn't question her presence.

when I was 17, I got inducted into my first AD&D game, with a GM who would let players make up anything they wanted. I said "can I make a dragon?" and he said "yeah." after that the only question was green, or red? I went with red. and Rasha had her first... hmm, quantifiable incarnation, something like that.

from the beginning it was obvious that Rasha wasn't "just a character," although I was careful to play her as one in the context of the game. (BLACKLEAF NOOOOOO)

I had to search a lot to find dragon stuff that wasn't stupid-looking, or that wasn't "wizard controlling a dragon" which was a standard icon at the time, or "knight/warrior killing a dragon" which didn't appeal for obvious reasons. I remember how excited I was when the Dancing Dragon catalog came out. SO MUCH DRAGON STUFF! for the first time in my life I had *choices* of dragon stuff!

when I was in--maybe third grade, I wrote a story about a little girl (me) who finds a little dragon (also me) leashed to a post at school. the girl sets the dragon free and it flies away, with the implication that maybe it comes back and is friendly later. at the time, in the 70s, there wasn't much about dragons widely available--for young human females, the default was unicorns, and maybe pegasus(es).

okay so barring being able to get back into mastodon.social (is it really dead, or did I do something wrong?), I might as well do some writing up of--how/why I'm furry-adjacent, or as I think of myself, Otherkin.

oh... it looks like mastodon.social is completely kersplunked. WELP. okay, I'll do that later I guess. XD meanwhile... I'm going to get my spoons together and go to the grocery store! /celebrations ensue/

oorrrrrrr not? because they aren't showing up? okay brb this is going to take more cutting and pasting than I'd thought...

seems relevant to repost some stuff I put on the mastodon.social instance over here, so... bit of a postflood incoming, BRACE FOR IMPACT

okay I did the thing! now... hi again everybody! (formerly sprackraptor on the usual .social instance)
but I think before I figure out how to migrate everything over here, I'm going to have lunch, because I suspect I'm going to need the protein assistance to brain through this...