Quote-boosting (with permission) a friend's followers-only toot:
"i think another NB obstacle for people who do want to modify their existing parts is a lot of people have the attitude 'it's not what's in your pants that matters, it's what's in your head'
which is v progressive in a lot of ways! and v true! but sometimes it matters to -us-, and not just when we're having sex."
@indi My struggle has always been that "what's in your head," "what's in your social sphere," "what's in your bloodstream," and "what's in your pants" can be completely orthogonal spaces, and addressing any one of them doesn't necessarily require or prevent addressing any of the others for people to be more themselves. Trying to decompose the problem space, however, can cause people for whom they _are_ related to feel like they're not being treated as whole people.
Identity is a hard problem.
@indi NBness and body-mod slams into trans-specific gatekeeping in many way. Not entirely applicable, there, bub.