🔶 KLCY AXIOM Prime @kelseyhusky@awoo.space

If you are willing and have surplus to spare, please direct some available safety, protection, and wisdom spells toward Gateway Station. I have a collector ready to gather it and channel it into some talismans that are being given to guard someone special to me.

I want to be fixed. I don't like being broken.

Currently Safe.

Spent a good chunk of last night and today holding on to anything I could, trying to abort my self-destruct sequence. Really scared myself.

This year needs to be about setting smaller and better goals. Smaller, so that I don't get discouraged and don't even make the attempt. Better, so that I can improve my circumstances, and in doing so, improve how I'm feeling.

Figured out how to shut off a harmful input channel. Gonna see if that helps.

I'm still on-line, and don't plan on going anywhere.

Sending hugs, love, glow and all the positive vibes I have to give. Thank you all for being here for each other. That's been a lovely thing to be apart of.

Let's continue to be excellent to each other. Cover each other's sixes, clear doors and corners together, and share your joys together.

Cause you're not alone.

Ugh. Just got "See you next year"-ed at work

TL, DR: I think I look pretty and feminine in hijab headscarves, but am scared of many social implications and worry about being harmed for being perceived as wearing one for the "wrong reasons."

I think I looked kinda pretty wearing it though. And I think it was because in my own history, veils and headscarves like that have always been tracking-tagged "feminine"

I don't want to be disrespectful, or appropriative. Anyone who knows me probably gets that. But the people who don't know me VASTLY outnumber the people who do, and some of them are fucking scary and the worst of them are violent.

Getting some outside reassurance from... i dunno who would be an issuing authority on this. Maybe I should find a trans-accepting mosque and just ask.

Them: Are you a Muslin?

Me: No, just trans with chronic and debilitating self-esteem issues. This helps a little.

Them: You fucking freak *insert racist/TERF-y/bigoted/boomer rant* Take it off, and hold still while I beat you for being scary and damaging to my narrow-minded world view.

Me: I just came here to have a good time and I'm feeling so attacked right now.

One of the many things that arrived at Gateway during the holidays was a selection of patterned stretchy scarves that can be worn multiple ways. Face Mask, Do-rag, headband, neck warmer. They also work as a pretty serviceable hijab. The pattern of the one that ended up wrapped around my head isn't exactly... reverent or modest.

But, when I looked at myself in the mirror, I looked unequivocally feminine, even with the stubble that feels like is getting more out of control with every week, no matter how much I shave (bodies suck and are horrible. The level of maintenance h. sapiens requires is the biggest indictment of Intelligent Design ever, and you can @ me if you want, I'm right.)

So after staring at myself like a blind Narcissus who just had his sight restored, I started using my imagination. It went something like this: (cont)

This woman is my fucking hero.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wkCsnFRuwg

Some days I just want to strap into an exo-frame, fire up the jump-jets and just fly.

I used to get that feeling riding my motorcycle Sable.

Been a long time since I felt that free.

A total surprise to feel excited about my clothes for once. I know I don't look like it, but that's because my face is stupid and doesn't show what I really feel

A friend from out of town took me to Torrid and would leave until they had bought me something to wear

The boots, jeans, and awesome coat are all new and I might just have a shot at this whole "being a cutie thing"

I dunno, I just felt good for a short bit and wanted to share.

It's your annual winter gift giving holiday. Under your presentation piece, is a large plastic box about the size of a sub-woofer made from a bright magenta-colored composite with glowing blue stripes highlighting each edge. The package is from Gateway Station Playsystems and is addressed directly to you!

Quick ask for my friends: Who is 3 Ninjas' years old?

1st: Everything here is strictly my opinion. Your results, mileage and experiences will vary, and that is totally valid.

2nd: There was some discrepancies between what i feel was the thematic intent vs. the on-screen execution.

3rd: I loved it.

Oh hey! Infinite character limit on CW'd post is back! Thanks Awoo!

Me: Oh no!
Them: What?
M: Steam Winter Sale
T: (in total agreement) Oh no!

You think I'd be used to rejection by now.

Nope.

Well, I guess I'm used to it. It just still hurts.

*launches distress beacon*
*immediately recalls distress beacon*
*launches distress beacon again*
*launches louder apology beacon*
*self destructs all beacons*
*launches the all-clear beacon*
*all-clear beacon launches its own distress beacon*
*destroys launcher*