🔶 KLCY AXIOM Prime @kelseyhusky@awoo.space

Is it just me, or does wearing your work badge around your neck sometimes feel like wearing an actual slave collar (and not like, the fun one you choose to wear)?

*in the distance, a muffled dial-up scream, as if someone had wrapped a modem up in a blanket and threw it into the bottom of the closet down the hallway*

Do you have a constantly running internal verbal monologue that follows along with the words you read, say, and think?

Does anyone have some self-confidence they can let me borrow? Mine ran out and the pharmacy won't have a new shipment for two weeks

At every all gender swim I've been too, there is a cadre of young PoC that latch on to me when they seem me throw tricks off the diving board. And there's usually at least one other swimmer that is diving too besides me Its nice to have something in common with people. And I get to encourage little kids to be brave.

What's really nice is that they are so eager to come talk to me. They aren't scared at all, or questioning or suspicious.

That was the most lovely thing that happened today.

Felt good to take the aquatic frame out for even a little bit. And I really like my suit!

I didn't want to go to work today.

I've had to walk through the sites of 3 active shooting locations downtown while trying to leave work.

I wasn't in any danger, All 3 events were either over, or closing up by the time I was waiting for my bus.

But at the same time, I feel like I could've called out for the mental health excuse and not gotten any crap over it.

But I didn't.

Just so I could chase this bread.

I hate this.

Yeah, Saying this as PoC, watching black people discover classic rock will never fail to put me in a good mood. Its so fucking pure and awesome and just delightful. This is the kinda shit that re-affirms for me that the world is better the more we experience. Insulation and isolation kills the spirit and makes us less than we can be.

Updating: Got an appointment scheduled, and another free intake appointment set up for the same day! I found 2 open therapists in the Seattle area.

For about an hour, I felt super guilty about that, but then I realized that I'm fucking allowed to find one that works for me and I'm allowed to take appointments that are offered.

I don't have to feel bad for asking for help.

Raow.
Rao
Rawo.
RAwoooo.

RawoRaowRaowRaow

Raow.

Ruffraow.
Raow.

Been thinking of retiring the idea of the always-on huskybot pack. Its a little too complex. Too many moving parts.

I'm overloaded and stressed enough as it is.

I think moving huskybots to a "on-demand spin-up" model is more manageable and respects my dwindling bandwith capacity better.

There will still be the different classes: Axiom, Beta, Delta, Rho. I just wont have so many platforms online at once anymore.

Not like anyone would miss them anyway.

Updating: I found someone open that matches my availability! I have an intake phone screen on Friday!

Which I also have as a Date/hangout day. And I have to pick my plush up from the airport.

*busy huskybot*
*tired/depressed huskybot*
*disaster huskybot*

Mood:

https://youtu.be/e_K3yBwuqHo?t=48

set int power_level == 0.01
set int work_motivation == 0.01
set int uptime_motivation == 0.00

Error: system unbalanced.
(A)bort, (R)etry, (Fail)?

And here I go, trying to get back into therapy again.

I'm glad I now get a weekday off, so I have a chance of getting in to see someone.

I hate having depression.

I can speak in complete sentences, and don't care about getting rich from the job.

I should run for President.

Thank you.

So distracted at work today.

Thank you to all who shared! Thank you for helping keep my person safe. @mawr these are for you