Critique
I'm going to watch @adeptomega play Major/Minor and critique the narrative as we go.
Great Work help me.
Critique
We're at the first possible narrative split and we've decided this has to be the Furry 4Kids dub.
Critique
Could someone please pick a tense and stick with it? I don't care which one. Just pick one.
Critique
"Only given the concrete details last week" for a life-altering tour? An NDA for a publicity tour? This isn't a tour; it's a self-kidnapping.
Critique
"Maid Cafes?
Those were much like restaurants in western culture.
However, your waitress actually stays at your table.
You converse with them, play games, get to know them..."
THIS IS AN EXACT LINE FROM THE ACTUAL GAME. HOLY BLAP.
Critique
Next up, Sergeant Pupper's Lonely Hearts Club Bland and the Lord Pompous Plair, the Guardian of the Trolley Problem.
And... nice job. Caylen just outed the whistleblower while confronting the Trump-alike. To say nothing of the potentially complicated gender politics that have just been engaged.
... but what in ANYONE'S NAME did that segment have to do with the previous story?
Critique
"You just told me you aren't interested in my primary hobby and we've known each other for two minutes. Let's exchange phone numbers, since we're both tourists in the same country."
@Valerie_Elysee: "Who knew that this would end up being more like No Exit than anything else?"
... and now we're off to Akihabara. Oh, joy.
Critique
@irisjaycomics So far it appears to be PORQUE NO LOS DOS while I do a kickflip off of a gargantuan copy of Elements of Style and double-flip-off my editor, then fall flat on my back and break my collarbone on my own hubris.
Critique
@literorrery ... what even. This critique is a seriously wild ride for someone not familiar with the game!
Critique
"Earlier that day,
In the courtrooms of Terra.
A planet far from Earth;
Yet closer than was known to any."
WHAT IS WRONG AND WHO DID THIS TO YOU?