Drama Magnet
I admit, I get a bitlot uncomfortable around people who seem otherwise awesome but interact casually with people who seem to be reactionaries/fash.
Drama Magnet
I am really not sure what to do about this, tbh.
Drama Magnet
@IrisKalmia Same, honestly? Like, I'll side eye the fuck out of them and almost definitely not interact of my own accord.
Drama Magnet
@Thaminga It's just really uncomfortable when it's someone I've otherwise rather enjoyed interacting with and it's just a little glimpse D:
Drama Magnet
@Thaminga It makes me feel like severing ties is too much but doing nothing too little. I've had a lot of arguments about ransoming myself over people's other friends and it's making me shy of directly confronting too :x
Drama Magnet
@IrisKalmia Yeeeeaaaah. Sometimes it's about the only thing you can do though, unfortunately. :/
Like, if someone fails to see that getting chummy with people who want you dead is going to put a damper on their friendship with you, you're honestly probably better off without them.
Drama Magnet
@Thaminga @IrisKalmia I have so many mixed feelings about this problem, and the answer I've come up with isn't one I'm happy with, but it's the one that leaves me feeling least bad.
When I see someone being friendly with pro-fash folks, I try to recognize that as privilege in play, and rationalize my upset in that context if for no other reason than to try to bare in mind that it's not reasonable of me to dictate to my friends what company they keep. [1/2]
Drama Magnet
@mawr @Thaminga @IrisKalmia this is very understandable IMO and what I end up doing a lot
Drama Magnet
@IrisKalmia @Thaminga I hate this option because ultimately it comes down to "because you did this thing, our friendship is over." No alternate options provided.
I feel least bad about doing that because the alternative would be an ultimatum, and ultimatums carry inherent coercion... and we all know that coerced consent isn't really consent.
So the only option is not to offer a choice, and I hate it, but I see no other straight-forward solution.
Drama Magnet
@IrisKalmia @Thaminga True, but it's important not to imply that as an option-- otherwise the ending of the friendship just becomes a more dramatic presentation of what is effectively an ultimatum.
Drama Magnet
@IrisKalmia @Thaminga [continued]
If they're getting too friendly with them, I might step in and say "I don't think I can maintain a friendship with you when you're so close to people who might literally want me dead."
With that, I'm ending my friendship with them on my terms, not forcing them to change.
By making the move to end the friendship over those ties, I'm enforcing my boundaries under my own power, not making my problem theirs to fix.
Consent is important.