Show newer
Pastelbat boosted

gameing shitpost 

what? oh, no, you misheard me. this is the "Bosch fight." the part where you fight every figure in a Hieronymis Bosch painting all at once.

Pastelbat boosted

@wxcafe @maffsie fun fact: there's an austrian word some people use when they're annoyed with computers and it's "blechtrottel", or, "sheet metal fool"

Yeen Facts: Medieval Edition [CW: mention of eating, corpses, vomit] 

"This is an animal called the Yena [Hyena], which is accustomed to living in the sepulchres of the dead and devouring their bodies. Its nature is that at one moment it is masculine and at another moment feminine, and hence it is a dirty brute.

It is unable to turn round, except by a complete reversal of its body, because its spine is rigid and is all in one piece.

It frequents the sheepfolds of shepherds and walks round the houses of a night and studies the tone of voice of those inside with careful ear, for it is able to do imitations of the human voice. In order that it may prey upon men called out at night by this ruse, it copies the sound of human vomiting.

Such dogs as it has called out like this, it gobbles up with hypocritical sobs. And if by chance sporting dogs should cross its shadow while they are hunting it, they lose their voices and cannot give tongue.

This beast has a stone in its eye, also called a yena, which is believed to make a person able to foresee the future if he keeps it under his tongue. It is true that if a yena walks round any animal three times, the animal cannot move. For this reason they affirm that it has some sort of magic skill."

- "A Medieval Bestiary", Metropolitan Museum of Art, 1986 (text compiled from various sources, I think)

[full book at: resources.metmuseum.org/resour ]

Pastelbat boosted

the first geological time period is called the Hadean (as in hades). We wasted all the good names early and by the time complex life showed up we had to name it after wales (the cambrian)

Pastelbat boosted

I have somehow through sleepy pooptooting managed to extract a solemn promise from K that he'll read the entirity of the Foucault & Chomsky 1971 debate transcript to me in his Redwall Villainous Rat Voices

He has not seen the length of it, but I intend to hold him to this absolutely

Pastelbat boosted

me: *in the middle of a fight scene* this isn't even my final form!
my bitter enemy: SHOW ME
me: *goes to bed*

After a few pages it blurs into a stream of the finest sick burns against Behaviorism and Marxist Historians

Look, I'm tired, I'm just picking up the important points here

Show thread

"ELDERS:
Well, may I first of all ask you not to make your answers so lengthy? [Foucault laughs]"

this just made me stop and laugh so much I must be too tired and sick

(also same, so very same)

I have somehow through sleepy pooptooting managed to extract a solemn promise from K that he'll read the entirity of the Foucault & Chomsky 1971 debate transcript to me in his Redwall Villainous Rat Voices

He has not seen the length of it, but I intend to hold him to this absolutely

Pastelbat boosted
Pastelbat boosted

SCP-682 is being kept in a dog crate

Two researchers spend all day putting pennies into SCP-914 on the Very Fine setting, getting nickels out the other end

Show thread
Pastelbat boosted

An SCP alternate universe where the foundation is chronically underfunded and needs to find creative ways of saving money

Pastelbat boosted

When your only tool is a dress, all your problems start looking like the inevitable death of the sun.

Left Plate: TFW you belatedly realise not only is someone else cosplaying Captain Harlock for the big con this year, but theirs is way better

You: Knights were warrior-nobles clad in steel plate armor
Me, an Intellectual: Knights were just boys who liked high-heels, curls & frilly dresses

Longterm Disability Gripe 

101 Medical Advice: Listen to your body!!! It's important!!
101 Medical Advice: Oh and never take naps, stop resting so much, never get enough sleep

Pastelbat boosted

#fakemon #Mastoart

fakemon based off the welsh Cŵn Annwn. Hounds of the afterlife and wild hunt in welsh mythology. Kinda inspired by pkmn Sw&Sh

Whmpup is the fright Pokemon and Wyldhound the hunter Pokemon!

Pastelbat boosted

Larry Niven had nothing on Kepler

A ringworld is fancy

A nested polyhedron solar system is *damn fancy*

Show thread
Show older
Awoo Space

Awoo.space is a Mastodon instance where members can rely on a team of moderators to help resolve conflict, and limits federation with other instances using a specific access list to minimize abuse.

While mature content is allowed here, we strongly believe in being able to choose to engage with content on your own terms, so please make sure to put mature and potentially sensitive content behind the CW feature with enough description that people know what it's about.

Before signing up, please read our community guidelines. While it's a very broad swath of topics it covers, please do your best! We believe that as long as you're putting forth genuine effort to limit harm you might cause – even if you haven't read the document – you'll be okay!