assistant fox keeper @somekindofcrow@awoo.space

@eris@glitch.social Okay hi so I didn't know TWOCC existed until I saw your profile and then went to your bandcamp thank you for letting me know that such a wonderful thing exists.

@anthracite It's more the general, existential, sort of tired, although I guess that would help too.

I'm tired.

@anthracite That in some sense is terrifying because it'd good but I can't stay in the closet if I keep this going and I should be screaming but I'm not because that part has been replaced with a calm okay now what do I do thing instead.

I don't know what the fuck is happening to my brain and I'm not really even sure that it's anything gender/dysphoria/euphoria related? I still hate my body, but I don't dwell on it. Like, I can't dwell on it.

It just reals like... I'm in the right mindset for things.

I mean I know it's still there, and it'll very definitely come back at some point? But right now I just can't seem to access it. Like, a pile of shit happened this week. It normally drives me into massive depression and I reach for the comfort of inevitable death. But right now I try to do that and nothing happens.

Instead I scheme and plot and plan.

Okay so now that I'm a week in and no longer feeling physically terrible... Two things I have noticed about HRT:

1 - I am still angry but instead of overwhelming incoherent rage I've been able to sharpen it to a fine point and have been smiling while telling people to go to hell.

2 - The part of me that's basically just a slice of oblivion is inaccessible. Like, I try to reach for it but it's not there. I am not capable of wanting to kill myself.

@iliana@witches.town that was the one i was rooting for but no they decided to name it after a character created as a satire against fare increases instead

@anthracite this is the best thing i have read on the internet today

@mcmoots@a.weirder.earth :(

@mcmoots@a.weirder.earth Do you know that WA state law is really strict on people who cut down trees on others' property and you can ask them for replacement + damages?

Okay now that the spiro isn't making it hurt to pee this whole hrt thing feels kind of good.

tfw you find out the person you have a crush on from playing an mmo with is like 15 years younger than you are and you feel creepy :3 :3 :3

@Sparrow yes yes yes yes yes

So i just send my doctor a note that begins with "it hurts when I poop is this normal on spiro???"

Like it feels I ate Indian food that is too spicy but I have not eaten any spicy food in weeks.

So anyway Faceboop is advertising diy vagina swab kit startup to me now.

I feel like I got some trans achievement points there.

@mcmoots@a.weirder.earth omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg wait i'm lactose intolerant now :(

@rey that's a brilliant idea and i should do it but lazy

@anthracite

I have a feeling it's because the pharmacy at Northgate is attached to the KP clinic that has half the local doctors who are trained to actually work with trans patients and can prescribe HRT. Like, if anyone in the area is trans and is in their system / has KP insurance they'd generally get it from the Northgate or Capitol Hill pharmacies.

The Bellevue and Redmond ones apparently were overflowing with hormones...

Okay wow one minute after my first titty Skittle and I'm already a submissive fox girl.

Wait no i didn't need drugs for that.