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re: ph- 

omg he even checked my x rays and gave me an mri referral without having to wait two weeks for another appointment

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re: ph- 

update: the doctor actually took me seriously and sent me to get x rayed

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ph- 

gonna finally see a doctor today about my arm muscle/ligament/tendon/joint problem that's been preventing me from going to the gym for the past four months

my expectations for this are that he's gonna tell me there's no surgery to fix this (which i'm not sure i'd want anyway) and that i should just keep going to physiotherapy and stop pestering him with questions

growing ever more distant and helpless to do anything about it

needed to get my daily dose of self- and world-hatred so i went on grindr 👍🥳🙃

re: ~ 

@SamIO i really wanna say ""attractiveness, health, and utility" so as to circle back to the beginning; but while mildly amusing, i'm not actually sure it's true? or maybe i just don't want it to be true

ah some good ol ldar vibes today

@else my parents cars have usb ports for carplay or whatever it's called and it almost never works properly

re: ~ 

@SamIO actually i agree with my friend though; these would be terrible goals if they were my goals. but i recognize that these are emotional needs, and that i feel better when they're met.

i do set some goals that are intended to help with those needs over the long term -- but not all of my goals

the point my friend was making was mostly about the attractiveness one, that i'd keep chasing it, never feel satisfied, then watch as my body starts to disintegrate slowly over decades starting at like middle age or sth. and i completely agree and 100% believe that's gonna happen to me 👍👍👍👍 but i also see it as inevitable so i don't feel like there's much i could do. can i change my emotional needs? is that a thing people do?

dentistry, - 

you know what's worse than getting your second wisdom tooth pulled out? the three week wait up until the procedure!

re: ~ 

a friend said these are terrible goals; and i said that they're not goals, they're needs

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programming, date/time/timezones 

my least favorite type of date/time/timezone data in this current project i'm working on would probably be "unix timestamp but in local time"

getting those to parse correctly in my code is always an adventure, and the best part! is that:
1. the gtfs-rt standard calls for utc unix timestamps, which are pretty much the industry standard
2. the government document explaining the data source doesn't specify and just kinda implies to follow the gtfs-rt standard
3. when i tried following the standard the data was wrong (because they actually use local time unix timestamps!!!)
4. troubleshooting it and realizing what they did took ages because i had to be certain that the problem isn't whatever python/js library i tried using

xkcd 

remembered this classic because i've been doing date/time/timezone related programming for the past couple hours

m.xkcd.com/1883/

staying at my parents place in the suburbs for a few days and i feel.... non shitty???? what is this weird unfamiliar feeling

If you don't like masc non-binary people or if your support is conditional then you don't really support non-binary people

basically i wanna feel: attractive, healthy, and useful (in decreasing order of importance)

~ , kink mention i guess? 

last night i may have accidentally cbt'ed myself (the therapy kind not the sex thing) into a less depressive thinking pattern

the kind of thought that i have to keep to myself because expressing it in text/speech would immediately invalidate it and make me stop believing it

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