wolfe but sad @wolfgang@awoo.space

yes, amazon, that is exactly what those are called, and exactly what i meant

fake it till you make it

feeling like a fake sick person, fake enby, fake furry, fake man, fake tel avivian, fake depressed person, and fake gymgoer

my thoughts right now are mostly a keysmash

and yet. how do i go back to work? as we say in hebrew, תעזבנו יום יעזבך יומיים ("leave Him for a day, and He'll leave you for two")

i have a friend who's dealing with way worse health stuff than me and yet he's somehow managing to keep working and taking care of a dog and a cat, while i'm here thinking how difficult and unfair it is to sit on the toilet

i've been living like this for so long that i've forgotten what it's like to be healthy. maybe this really is the best i could hope for, and i should look into going back to work already

sometimes i wonder if maybe i'm just being a big whiny baby. if maybe this is just what normal feels like and i just like to complain about it

maybe going to the toilet 6 times a day and suffering from abdominal pains and having terrible heartburn is just completely ok and i've been unwittingly committing insurance fraud this entire time by asking for disability benefits instead of working

i think watching her video about envy actually changed my way of looking at things?????? huh

what i'm saying is, a gay furry song in classical aramaic now exists out there in the world (and mostly on my and that friend's phones)

sent a friend a recording of me playing guitar and singing

a random guy: *has a thick but non-fluffy beard trimmed in straight lines and sharp angles*

me: *melts into a puddle*

apartment lease: signed and renewed ✅

i'm so glad i managed to go to the gym today. i missed that gosh dang place so friggin much

or maybe i just missed the feeling that one day i might finally become the musclewolf thembo (musclemutt thembo?) i want to become

progress so far:

✅laundry
✅breakfast
⏸physiotherapy
⏭set a dentist appointment
⏭set a psychiatrist appointment
✅go print the apartment lease
✅gauge whether i feel ok enough to gym
✅gym
✅lunch

"i'm so glad i can listen to this song without thinking about him anymore! ...wait"

laundry
breakfast
physiotherapy
set a dentist appointment
set a psychiatrist appointment
go print the apartment lease
gauge whether i feel ok enough to gym
maybe gym
lunch
pass out from exhaustion
vacuum the living room
meet with landlords to sign the new lease
shower
dinner
pass out from exhaustion take 2

oh god so many things to do today and so little motivation to move

*bing logo* am i not getting out of bed because i feel terrible physically or because i feel terrible mentally

at this point, yknow? i'm kinda hoping it's covid just so i don't have to worry about covid anymore afterwards???? or maybe i'm just dumb also a possibility