Follow

mood 

The dominant mood of today: "Nothin' left to see here, folks." Binging on Bojack Season 5 probably didn't help much, but really what I could use is an end to the recurring dreams in which I can't get anybody I know to still speak to me. In general... that "what are you still doing here, you toxic old fart" sensation is overwhelming today and I'm honestly not sure what the fuck to do about it besides be stoic, put my head down, work on Parallax, and get the hell outta Dodge like fate demands.

mood 

I don't want to pretend I'm the only one who suffered this year, not the only one by far nor the only one who suffered because of *my* fuckups. But it is particularly frustrating having your old life and sense of self basically sundered by offenses you still don't even fully *understand*. An action item here, at least-- some guidance as to what the hell I'm still doing wrong and what, if anything, I can do to fix it-- would have been helpful at any point. I dunno, no blame, am just lost.

mood 

@mmsword That would be awesome -- we'll chat about some of this stuff when I see ya, it's... complicated. :) But I REALLY appreciate the looking in on me, it did improve my mood a bunch. FWIW, last night's dreams were about getting inducted into a weird coven, so I guess that's an improvement? :D

mood 

@mmsword I think Sunday's open, depends on how well I can grapple with Day Job this week!

mood 

@troodon <3 <3 <3

I think I figured out part of the equation, too: the community feels dead, but the people are still individually amazing and kind and that's weird but acceptable and I'm grateful for it. You, particularly, have been just awesome. *hug*

mood 

@zebratron2084 I’m sorry. Fwiw I still want to hang out with you.

mood 

@Leucrotta I was really glad to see you in town, had a great time! <3

mood 

@zebratron2084 I miss taking to you. I wish talking to so many friends didn't feel like talking into a void. That is to say: it would make me very happy if you'd write back.

Sign in to participate in the conversation
Awoo Space

Awoo.space is a Mastodon instance where members can rely on a team of moderators to help resolve conflict, and limits federation with other instances using a specific access list to minimize abuse.

While mature content is allowed here, we strongly believe in being able to choose to engage with content on your own terms, so please make sure to put mature and potentially sensitive content behind the CW feature with enough description that people know what it's about.

Before signing up, please read our community guidelines. While it's a very broad swath of topics it covers, please do your best! We believe that as long as you're putting forth genuine effort to limit harm you might cause – even if you haven't read the document – you'll be okay!