mood, social (-ish)
Meanwhile, I've been getting that awful feeling again, that I've pretty much drifted out of the lives of most of the locals, and it's basically my fault.
It is, really. I know I definitely withdrew good and hard after the fight with Keet and Orrery. I walked away from a lot of community spaces, like the Slack and the Eyrie rituals. And I don't really feel like there's a non-awkward way back into them.
re: mood, social (-ish)
@Balinares To whom? Kristy and Jessie, not really. I've at least got an "inside contact" there to give me status updates. And I've finally come to terms with the fact that the best thing for them is going to be just leaving them be.
I've already resigned myself that that's probably going to be forever; it would be nice to learn differently someday, but I've sworn off trying to force it. It'd be neat if something could happen there... but I'm fairly certain it can't. :|
re: mood, social (-ish)
@Balinares As for the others... sounds lovely, and the sentiment's appreciated. Just, if I come up in conversation, mention that I miss 'em. That's another problem -- everybody's so scattered these days, I've even lost track of who I've lost track of. :|
Thanks. Even just having _anybody_, especially you, reply to and bother to care... that's a big comfort. *hugs tight*
I just can't believe how it all went so wrong so fast. I'm still reeling pretty badly.
re: mood, social (-ish)
@Balinares I think mostly I just needed to say all that above to ward off that paranoid self-hatey inner voice of "OK, it's gotten real quiet. I'll bet everybody's gotten sick of me and has realized I'm a total irredeemable jerk. Might as well do everybody a favor, by detaching myself and getting to work on the NOLA stage of my life, instead of trying to force something nobody else seems to want."
When the truth is probably everyone else is just stupid busy like I am. 😺