I'm currently safe. But holy shit did I think really hard about stepping in front of my bus instead of trying to catch it.
I am the Cylon in the mirror. I am my own worst enemy, subverting my own defenses and countering my offenses at every turn.
Trapped inside my own head, slowly turning into orobourian torus endlessly looping to get away from the pain I'm causing myself.
Why am I so fucking broken? I don't want to hurt anymore. Why is this happening now?
I think it would probably be good if I fucked off from work for the day, though. Get some quality sobbing time just to try and clear out this emotional debt.
Don't think I'm gonna. Too much work i didn't do this whole week cause I was crying so much.