mood (-)
Complete emotional logjam today. Feels like everything's still in ruins, and the only honorable thing to do is just walk away--- not only from the actual wreckage, but the whole settlement around it.
Everything collapsed so fast in the last year, and suddenly my life feels very small and contained. Suddenly I've gone from an ensemble cast where I felt forgotten all the time, to a two-person sketch comedy where I'm always on camera, even when I don't want to be.
I'm still just reeling.
mood (-)
Social media broke, two of my closest friendships broke (I *still* don't quite understand how), my country broke, all progress I made on being calmer broke, my fantasy life broke, my RP outlets broke, and my ability to trust other people, or trust myself around them when stressed, is breaking fast.
The common element in this: my faith broke. In myself and in a whole lot of other sources of security & self-love. "Time heals all" is not comforting when the hours, let alone days, drag so.
mood (-)
@zebratron2084 I think I missed stuff?
mood (-)
@Leucrotta Yeah. Short version is, I'm not on speaking terms with Kristy and Jessie at the moment. It's a long, unpleasant story and there were plenty of stupid mistakes on both sides. It all ended on what I feel was a huge misinterpretation, without a lot of solid answers, so I'm still just reeling from the whole thing. I don't really want to get into it further in public.
mood (-)
@Leucrotta Yeah, there's no known "drama" going on or anything, but it's probably as sensitive an issue for them as it is for me. I still wish them the best and maybe we can still be friends again someday, I dunno, but it's going to be real tough and I don't think either side's especially eager to see or hear from the other right now. -_-
mood (-)
@zebratron2084 Thanks for filling me in. It's *probably* academic, since my chances of making it north aren't great, and you're heading south anyway, *but* I feel like knowing what social dynamics I should not push on, is useful.