Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

@001zlnv finally somebody whose ideas make sense

@Phorm Your place is right here with us. 🐯 💢 ❤️

@catoxis The most important takeaway from Infinity Train is Samantha The Cat. Learn from Sam. Be like Sam. Sam is the true way. 😺

@Soreth @anthracite no YOUR mom's a fancy horse who never leaves her sylvan glen! 😭

my (RL) mom's more like a bear, really... 🤔

@Phorm Oh, and basically my great-granddad's sister married a really sketchy, shady guy that he didn't trust. He nicknamed him "La Donnola," or "The Weasel."

Well, his sister got pragnant and La Donnola didn't have a real job, so they begged Great-Grandpa Nick to let them stay with him and his wife. He did NOT LIKE THIS, because he hated his brother-in-law, but he couldn't turn his sister down so he put up with him.... until one night when Nick came home late and heard something reverberating in the basement.

The fucking weasel was holed up down there with four of his friends, complete strangers to Nick, and a shortwave radio. They were speaking to somebody in Italian. In the late thirties. About something they felt they needed to do at 4 am in a basement.

Yeah.

Great-Grandpa Nick grabbed his shotgun and waved all of them outside except for La Donnola, who he punched in the snoot and told him he'd kill him if he ever saw him again.

I REALLY regret never getting to meet Great-Grandpa Nick. :D

@Phorm What's the story with your stepfamily...?

@StormyDragon @KinkyTurtle @anthracite Well, there's the sort of blur that stops at the backs of your eyes, and there's the sort of blur that goes all the way to your cerebellum... *shudder*

I don't like sedatives.

@ellyponey I should leave some of my daily round of obnoxious comments in Dale's voice. That's a good idea, thank you. 😈

I know that's the first and foremost question on a lot of your minds. 😺

Seriously, though, I am not afraid. Louisana is a shithole culturally speaking, but New Orleans is a precious little toilet diamond by comparison. LGBT support is absolutely bedrock down here and the locals do NOT like being told what to do.

If worse comes to worse, Peg and I will have a thousand attics to hide in. We also have heavily armed ex-gangbanger neighbors we've done favors for in the past. 😼

We will live quite comfortably here in the <s>Fire</s> Jazz Swamp regardless of the turmoil in the civilized lands. The last five years down here have been basic training for living in a collapsing society, I'm pushing 50 and have lived a great life, and I am FUCKING READY. We're the last people anyone has to worry about.

Calling up MAGA legislators and hassling their switchboard operators is free, easy, and pretty much risk-free as long as you don't say anything that can be construed as a physical threat.

It will also have approximately the same impact on American fascism as a spitball, but trust me, you'll feel better. There is NO sensation in 2024 that's half as gratifying as hearing some creepy Young Republican intern stammer as they struggle to come up wtih an answer to "So I can't help noting the blatant factual error in your boss's tweet and as a Christian conservative swing voter in Michigan, I'm VERY upset over this..."

Put on your best Ned Flanders and ruin some junior armband-enthusiast's whole day. I have been doing it for SIX YEARS with no legal consequences. Just watch your mouth and (For maximum effectiveness) DON'T BREAK CHARACTER.

@Phorm also god dammit fox i just plain miss you 😿

@Phorm Does it give you any hope to be reminded that I used to BE one of those people? *hug* And believe me, I take ZERO offense at your post even if I used to resemble those people-- because I was wrong, wrong, wrong about so many things and it's so obvious in retrospect.

The only other reassurance (at least for now: a more direct solution may be coming?) I can give is that YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO FEELS THIS WAY, DEAR. <3 <3 <3 I have been absolutely reeling from al this and mostly hiding out from social media. I have barely even been "out hunting" lately, which is NOT like me.

We are in a dark age. But a lot of us miss the golden age, and I think the enthuiasm and frustration about it are going to reach a critical mass eventually, because even some of the "normies" are starting to recognize how constrained and awful the online world feels.

But no, you're not wrong at all, and not bad to feel this way about those people. We are coming up very quickly on a huge reckoning with the something very ugly about modern society, and history will NOT be any kinder to your hand-wringing acquaintances than it's been to the people who "didn't think Hitler seemed like such a bad guy."

Have I told you the story of La Donnola, honey? Because I am just ITCHING to repeat it... (TL;DR: great-grandpa got to punch a Mussolini sympathizer in his own home 😻 )

I know we might be up for some scary times in the next four years.

But I want you to remember something very important that's giving me a lot of consolation in this dark time:

Violent J has gone all-in for Harris. We have the FUCKING JUGGALOS on our side.

Now, who do you think will be scarier in the event of a civil war or military coup? An army of armchair FEMA-haters in their LARP camos... or AN ENTIRE NATION OF ANGRY CLOWNS?

Also: I will bet you dollars to donuts that when the dust all settles, whatever tragedies occur in the next decade... we'll come out of this with transgender rights as a core American liberal value. I'm seeing it all over Reddit. The support for trans people -- hell, for *furries* -- is nothing like it was ten years ago. I still see transphobic comments, but they're regularly getting downvoted into oblivion.

(I'm also very reassured that state and local officials are starting to brace for a Trump coup in practical ways, but that's a post for another time.)

@LexYeen what's your second favorite anti-conspiracy theory? <3

also, i don't want this to get around, but... did you know that the Jews control the kosher food industry and own every last synagogue in the United States? and they're doing it right out in the open! 😱​

Also, did you know that chemtrails are part of a 1970s CIA psyop that went off the rails? They were trying to convince the Chinese that we had advanced neurotoxins that could change the psychology of entire populations. So they equipped *every single jet* with a sprayer that releases a stream of ice crystals behind it and spread a rumor that they were "chemtrails." And now they have to keep doing it every year-- with OUR tax dollars-- to keep up the pretense! 😠

@KinkyTurtle @StormyDragon @anthracite Oh, it's fine, it's not like I'm here talking about my life much these days, and frankly I was barely aware of the whole thing myself. It's all a blur. :)

@StormyDragon @anthracite Went pretty well! I have such good vision in my right eye now that it's making me dizzy, hooray! :D Seriously, I remember rather more of the actual procedure than I would have liked to, but the recovery's going pretty well and tghe change is AMAZING. Thank you for the good wishes! <3

@Phorm
🎵 Tigers are both clean and warm
🎵 And most are far above the norm
🎵 Whether here or on the roam
🎵 Have a tiger in every home!
(some disclaimers apply, consult your physician 🐯 )

@JulieSqveakaroo It me!

@anthracite God... goddammit. I have to get this, don't I.

@Phorm Get one of these suckers. Seriously. Not everybody has a big ol' tigress around. 💪🐯