Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

itch 🙀 itch 🙀 itch 🙀 itch 🙀 itch 🙀 itch 🙀 itch 🙀 itch 🙀 itch 🙀 itch 🙀 itch 🙀 itch 🙀 itch 🙀 itch 🙀 itch 🙀 itch 🙀 itch 🙀 itch 🙀 itch 🙀 itch 🙀 itch 🙀 itch 🙀

fortunately I am seeing Otic Roto Rooter tomorrow at 4. i suspect it will be a chernobyl elephant's foot kind of situation where they just concrete it all in and leave it for the next generation to worry about

it's fine, didn't like that ear anyhow

#ItsNot3Roentgen

i know there is no magic in this universe and even the strongest will can do nothing to turn the tide of an indifferent clockwork universe

i know this because otherwise i would have a cheeseburger and fries

"Politically, he was a humanitarian who did know right from left and was trapped uncomfortably between the two. He was constantly defending his Communist friends to his right-wing enemies and his right-wing friends to his Communist enemies, and he was thoroughly detested by both groups, who never defended him to anyone because they thought he was a dope. He was a very serious, very earnest and very conscientious dope."

Hot take:

The single most important character in modern literature is Clevinger, the character in Joseph Heller's Catch-22, described by the protagonist Yossarian as "smart but dopey."

Why? Because people who are "smart but dopey"---very capable at narrow skills like finance or social manipulation, but painfully literal-minded, absolutely impervious to nuanced thinking---are the single biggest threat to human society in 2021.

Jeff Bezos is smart but dopey. Elon Musk is smart but dopey. Jordan Peterson is smart but dopey.

The guy I just saw get *really really angry* in a discussion of how Bugs Bunny shaped the etymology of the word "nimrod" is smart but dopey.

The president of my college fraternity, who literally could not imagine, nor be interested in, any explanation for UFO contact experiences except "they're just stupid." He was smart but dopey.

Sometimes I am smart but dopey.

It is the sin of missing the forest for the trees. It is the sin of looking at the hand of someone who's pointing at the sun and smugly observing "But that's not the sun, it's your hand."

It is how Very Smart Centrists comfort themselves. It is how people come to mistake things like "reason" and "logic" for badges you are awarded for believing the right things, to be worn *at* people, instead of a praxis that must be pursued with near-religious devotion.

Um, no actual kink content, sorry. This was a test of the emergency kink broadcast system. I should talk more about kink.

Relatedly, I am extremely drunk and stoned at the moment. If you ever wanted to seriously TMI, interrogate, and/or manipulate me, this is the time. <3

I was going through old messages and found a picture of seven cats on our porch.

We have six cats.

Yeah. *weak smile*

It's OK, we've actually had more like FIFTEEN semiferal cats living here. Our neighbor would just let them kinda wander when they got old enough. We finally got them snipped and ended that cycle.

I'm pretty sure Number Seven in that photo was Penumbra. I loved the shit out of Penumbra, but just like his identical-looking older brother Umbra, he bolted within DAYS of me thinking we'd really bonded.

Umbra was the one who turned out to have hit the Cat Jackpot up on Banks Street-- we met his new Food Lady and she seemed awesome. And there are at least five healthy black cats in the neighborhood that I look at and think, "Penny...?"

Love ya little voidlet. I hope you are having an excellent cat life, and if you ever decide to come back, there will always be food and a scritch for you.

I will say this for the chronic ear issues I'm battling: I've listened to some very good true crime podcasts that had less interesting twists, turns, and sudden surprises.

I have an ENT appointment Monday. I'm REALLY hoping there is no Season Two and there is a happy ending. But this show has a 43-year backstory-- so I'm braced for this not being over.

Peg just threw me out. The cats are gonna live in here with her and I'm gonna move into the abandoned basement next door where they've been sleeping.

She wouldn't even let me poop first, but I locked the bathroom door and there's not much she can really do about it.

(Peggy and I have the GREATEST fights and I love her and her snark so very much. <3 <3 <3 )

ACTION RECOMMENDED:

AVOID THE AIR

this DM to my ex just makes me smile is all n.n;

i'm so envious

i want ponycake

i wanna be ms. ponycake up there

this is definitely not a vore thing

this is definitely a pony thing

HINT 1: This name was spoken by Lisa Simpson except that it wasn't...

HINT 2: It involves a crime committed in Los Angeles.

HINT 3: He was sentenced to an appropriate number of years away from society and real gorillas.

HINT 4: Oh for fuck's sake. :D https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJDz7Py6cvA

"Janos Prokedzian."

Thank you. The test is concluded. I wonder if I got at least one of you.

there was probably an embarrassingly recent day when i would have thought this was visionary genius, but me on the cusp of my 46th birthay is more like "ok my merry little prankster when is this gonna get anybody fed, housed, or cared for"

twice in a day

you can't imprison my heart, dorsey

i will devour your babies.

(still, i'm impressed that their algorithm can recognize "jump off a cliff" as a death wish...)

today i discovered @hasanthehun@twitter and it was a great experience because it's always nice to have someone on your own side you can conveniently point at and say "yes i'd like us to be the exact opposite of *that*"

RON HOWARD: "Four minutes later, Rezy shanked the warden."

12 hours in Twitter jail for responding to piece of shit Charlie Kirk's blatant lie about a "vaccine" death by calling him a lying piece of shit.

12 hours for refusing to stand down.

Time to stock on up ramen, get a good tattoo, hit the weight room, and crack some Aryan skulls in gen pop, I guess. The Pruno in Twitter Block D is actually pretty good.

Don't worry about me. I can do a dozen standing on my head. They love me in here. I'll be out before you know it. Assuming I don't shank the warden.

YOU HEAR ME, DORSEY, YOU LITTLE BITCH?

Tom Tomorrow and Ruben Bolling just aren't very skillful satirists. 🤷​

one day i'm going to be in the same room with someone of either political extreme who assumes that being a marxist automatically means you're a leninist and on that day i will just close my eyes and start spinning and spinning until the walls are covered in dripping red stains