Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

one parting shot before bed, in reply to @troodon's kind poetry citation:

the intro quote is pretty much word for word what it's like to be me :)

http://oz.wikia.com/wiki/Hungry_Tiger

home, safe, glad, beat, laters <3

thanks to the dangerous influence of otter memetics i am now possessed by a FIERCE urge to watch a bunch of megas xlr

thanks a LOT Vloe ;p <3

I also want to note with no small pride that this is the least grumpy I've ever been after a week-long tolerance break. Still looking forwards to breaking it tonight. ^____^

First flight home to Seattle leaves in about an hour and a half. You know the drill: if something bad happens, love you all, had a hell of an interesting ride. Thanks for making my time on this shitty planet weirder and happier.

Much more likely, I'll be curled up with Peg in twelve hours, stoned out of my mind and stuffed with raw fish. =^____^=

If you go on a date with someone, and they have a People's Republic of China banner on their wall, well, that's a big red flag.

But if they have a Swiss flag instead, that's a big plus.

cranial = "brainal area"
occipital = "thwapal area"
optical = "squintal area"
nasal = "snortal area"
manual = "pokal area"
thoracic = "chestal area"
mammary = "boobal area"
abdominal = "foodal area"
inguinal = "humpal area"
gluteal = "sittal/fartal area"

(the venture bros nerds are on reddit debating whether their world's David Bowie, Klaus Nomi, Iggy Pop, and Freddy Merc... er, I mean, "Mr. Fahrenheit" are the "real" ones, and their semantic naivete is making my stripes contract with frustration -_____- )

overly literal-minded fan theories are a goddamn disease and the only cure is to bring back decent fucking humanities education, preferably with plenty of (post-)modern literature full of unreliable narrators-- so they can learn that causality in fictional worlds is nothing but an artful sleight of hand, and there's absolutely nothing "impossible" or "inconsistent" or (god help me) "relativist cultural marxist SJW" about that whatsoever. >___<

We are pleased to introduce our new fall line of Martian mane care products.

By R'oareal.

in other news my host body has its salt-and-pepper beard fully grown in and its mom has supplied it with a light grey bathrobe, and it has never looked more like a jedi

christ i hate jedi

i need to get a little gazelle-shaped cookie cutter and keep a supply of cookie prey around at all times, so i can murder one of those instead of saying things on masto/reddit that i should not -___-

i want a gun that instantly prints the word "FUCKKNOB" in large block stencil letters in indelible ink on a target from up to 2000 meters away

ideally it should be accurate enough to hit a forehead and concealable enough to take to a rally

Hmmm. These look quite useful for Masto-- especially D, F, G, J, K, L, M, T, and were I a younger and more virile cat, Z.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_maritime_signal_flags#Letter_flags_(with_ICS_meaning)

oh my god after that raccoon gif i desperately want someone to come out with an animatronic AI-driven raccoon toy that will do fluffy robot parkour all around your apartment ^____^

(note i said your apartment not mine O:) )

Next time you're feeling depressed about the poor prospects of humanity, take comfort. Because the raccoons are READY and just waiting for the chance to ransack our yummy yummy ruins.

https://www.reddit.com/r/trashpandas/comments/9eprar/getting_some_juice/

Then we stopped in at a huge antiques mall near the casino. It was right up my parents' alley and my stepdad got to expand his collection of neat little antique toy trains. But I got too much of an "hostile political allegiance" vibe out of what was quite clearly Trump and Reagan territory and mostly just killed time wandering, keeping my snarky opinions down to the occasional whisper to my mom.

If nothing else, I enjoyed the reminder there are far worse places than Seattle.

Stopped in a 7-11 on the way down, and "got" to accidentally see my stepdad pee in an employees-only room sink when the men's room turned out to be out of order. (In his defense, at his age... not much choice.) We booked it out of there fast while I chuckled like a loon.

Speaking of urine, the whole casino reeked of stale tobacco and retiree pee, a potent and noxious concoction if there ever was one. Made most of my Will rolls, walked out with $60 of the $100 stake my folks gave me.

Haha, it was terrible, but I knew it was coming so I approached it with the proper mindset and actually had a pretty good time.

Mostly, I just enjoyed the ride down. Alternated between reading an Italo Calvino novel (excellent literary goose chase, just what I needed) and staring out the window at all the glorious coal-country squalor. (Thought of you the whole way down, @acetone_kitten, you would have lovehated it.)