Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

Listening to Dylan's "From A Buick 6" and helplessly associating the lyrics with my evil swamp-dragon lady. She's got 4d10 of flame-breath instead of a .410 full of lead, but... meh, close enough. <3

"Unicorn skin." It had BETTER be ethically sourced...

https://gfycat.com/wildshadowyduiker

Eris charges a cancellation fee.

To be fair, this was clearly specified in Her terms of services. I don't regret a thing.

Wow, this new Coen Brothers anthology western sure is a Coen Brothers movie. Don't get me wrong, three segments in I quite *like* it, but... it sure is a Coen Brothers movie.

Just paying it forward. Thanks, you know who you are.

https://i.imgur.com/cKnQKaD.gifv

(CW: EXTREME DOGGO SCRITCH)

(ALTERNATE SELECTION FOR @LeDiva : https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/9zxw8h/i_may_be_6_weeks_old_but_i_will_terminate_you/ )

There's so much latent in this old photo of a Victorian couple trying not to burst out laughing during a portrait. Can you imagine how different *our* era will look, when there's nothing left but the semblances and the polite poses?

*dusty old Martian lady beats personal demons and depression-hounds with an ordinary household broom and sends them packing, then stands there shaking her fist out the doorway*

And stay out!

Any thought of the format, "How bad could it be? It's almost impossible to screw up $FOOD" is an inevitable path to sadness. Especially if you're already depression-binging and $FOOD is from Safeway.

Mood is holding steady. Supplies of holiday tequila and junk food are holding steady. Got a little down this morning due to Relationship Stuff and being a bit of empathy sponge off of Peg's winter depression, but it was nothing biscuits and gravy couldn't fix. Probably gonna work today and watch She-Ra. More Dragon Fashion Hour with Peg tonight. Life isn't good, exactly, but it's cozy, and it's better than the alternative?

Backing out again for now. Good luck, y'all.

Going dark for the holidays. See ya Saturday. Enjoy whatever it is that you do, and please... don't feel any particular need to tell me about it (unless it's really lurid). :)

I'm going to be eating junk food and not talking to anybody but Peggy and Eris (sacred avenger of the snubbed) and it's going to be fucking fantastic.

I know more Monkees lyrics than someone my age should know.

Like, a lot more.

Like, I just recited the entirety of "The Door Into Summer" off the top of my head.

That can't possibly be good.

We don't really celebrate Trans Day of Remembrance on Mars. About a quarter of our tigresses just run around with our cocks hanging out of our skirts, and most of us are >2.5 m tall, so it's kinda hard to forget (or oppress) us.

We have instead chosen this day to celebrate Terran Day Of Remembrance. We're really, really, really sorry we had to eat you all, but you kinda forced our paws back in 2133. Remember? That thing you did? Anyhow, probably your fault. 🐯​

I had a cheeseburger for breakfast. This is still America, dammit.

Current mood deficiency: precisely one (1) cheeseburger.​

That's not even so much because I'm sad, as much as just really want a freakin' cheeseburger.

I have all I need to make a cheeseburger in the fridge. I could have a cheeseburger. I have done absolutely nothing-- morally, nutritionally, or existentially-- to deserve a cheeseburger.

So you see my dilemma. This question has vexed Martian philosophers since time immemorial. How do I has cheeseburger without eat cheeseburger?

Fuck it, I'm just gonna let Dawn write the rest of Parallax 'cause if the last three readings are any indication, she has a much better idea what to do with it than I do. :D

This kid Dawn scares me sometimes. Both of them, Dawn Jr. (Lo Scarabeo) and Dawn Sr. (handmade edition). Just like their mother! ❤️​

I've been seeing a fascinating pivot from /r/The_Donald's crowd on Reddit:

Some of them have started acknowledging climate change is real. Their new take is "liberal do-gooders should stay out of things they don't understand, and leave the solutions up to actual engineers." Never mind that that's not what the _actual climatologists_ say to do...

This is an interesting pivot, though. They're getting ready to pull the "oh, we believed all along" trick, mark my words.

a modern day retelling of the diogenes myth except instead of a lantern he carries around a bluetooth speaker thats constantly playing doodlebob from spongebob going "NEEOY YOY MINOY NAYDEE ONMOMOY" just loud enough that nobody's sure if they really hear it

But you're still not quite sure whether it's a comedy or a tragedy. (I mean, look what they did to Riverdale. :> ) So you keep watching and praying to your gods of choice that the writers know what the fuck they're doing and the weird otter kids, little though you comprehend them, are all going to make it through the finale.

It's not a cartoon adventure anymore, not for you, and never will be again. But you're forced to admit: you're still hooked.

And then, half a season in, you finally realize... wait, no. This isn't the wrong show at all. It's the reboot. YOU'RE the faculty now.

And the crazy space kids are still having their crazy space adventures right under your noses, turning into otters and dyeing themselves blurple and grellow and splicing their DNA with jellyfish.

And it's okay. It's not as much fun to watch as the original, too vicarious, but at least you don't feel too old for it anymore.

It's been like sitting down to watch Galaxy High School and finding out that, in total Mandela Effect defiance of all your memories, Doyle and Amy are in their thirties, and the plots and characters are more like something out of the Big Chill or Return of the Secaucus Seven.

This is what that no-good mangy Coyote god warned me about. And He was right, too, the son of a cosmic mutt. It's actually perfectly survivable, even cozy, in a "winter sun" kind of way.