Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

But remember: it's "not genetic in the least," if you claim your metabolism is bad "you're just making excuses," and it's all something you could "just will yourself out of."

You know. Just like they said about depression. And poverty. And queerness. Nobody could possibly have a body that's just *better* at processing calories...

https://boingboing.net/2018/12/06/brown-fat-ftw.html

working the day jëøärrb and am quite bored

well, it worked for ray smuckles once, maybe it'll work for me

"Mastodon, what's the best thing you got?"

This is one of those days where I feel like I should be getting Eating Disorder Hazard Pay for my job.

Singaporean cafes. One after the next, interrupted mostly by Midwestern interstate diners, the sort where you can buy a fresh cinnamon roll the size of a throw pillow.

I would sell you all out to the Greys for a decent bowl of curry noodles right about now.

The Martian High Council is most pleased to honor Mr. Murderbritches for his brave stand against the Terran oppressors. He is hereby granted full Martian citizenship and has an officer's commission waiting for him upon naturalization, should he desire it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xcuJ3OPl8k (cw: futile tiny-kitty-on-human violence)

Google turning its logo gray as a memorial for Bush Sr. is a nice touch.

He was a very gray sort of man. It makes a lot of sense to celebrate his life by negating a rainbow effect.

Don't ever be afraid to show your true colors.

But do try to make sure those colors contrast properly with your true text.

Does anybody know where The Kids Are Going These Days for adult photoblogging, now that Tumblr is apparently on fire?

I'm thinking of using all this as an excuse to repost the content at https://dionysianscream.tumblr.com/ and maybe give it an update.

I know about the woman in Vienna and your little friend in the Syndicate. If 50,000,000 USD has not been wired to this Mastodon address by 12 midnight, a sealed letter will be delivered to the Times, the Post, and the head of MI6.

This is all for Dutchie, you sick bastard.

Good fucking god, Giuliani is stupid.

https://lawandcrime.com/high-profile/giuliani-doesnt-understand-how-someone-invaded-his-tweet-with-an-anti-president-message/

I am a cartography godling. I dispatch queries in bullet time. I am like the love child of John Wick and Buster Bluth.

#SheHasBustersEyes
#AndALooseSeal

get off my lawn

i'm keeping your kickball

also quit nosing around my spooky amusement park

no damn good tumblr kids i had to pay fourteen cents a minute long distance for this bullshit in '91

2400 baud and we were grateful for it

The Mighty Wheels of Cartography have finally turned and I have a couple hundred tasks in my work queue again. Crisis averted!

Now I just have to figure out how to get a referral for a retinologist, and I have done most of my major adulting for the month. And I might still get to take Christmas off after all! (I'm going home to Ohio Dec 17-28 regardless, it's just whether I have to work over it.)

If I can just have a nice, normal week, I might have to officially declare myself Okay!

We accidentally made an in-joke in Parallax whose source is not Google-able. At all. No results. Even though it's a reference to a comic strip that ran for 30 years and used to be a household name.

I'm feeling perversely proud of this. 😺​

An old classic from Adult Swim's "infomercial" experiments. I particularly like this one because of the writers' benign indifference to the trans character's transness. (MILD SPOILER: Note the subtle validation of Carla's womanhood at around 5:20...)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXgNo5Smino

I beat Slay the Spire's fourth and final act (with the Defect). So I got that goin' for me.

I was basically the Ice Bot. Frozen Core (for extra ice per turn), Gold Cables (for more uses per ice), and Diskette (for more ice per use). Frankly, the rest of the deck was garbage, but who cares, when you're generating 80 Block a turn? Pulled an Echo Form from the very last shop and dealt the Heart a humiliating defeat.

(Counterpoint: If I were in Aruba, the weed would be illegal and the coffee would be of marginal quality. What the fuck do Dutch people know about coffee?! And now that I think of it, I probably wouldn't get much writing done if Peg had 12" inflatable tits pressed against me. So who am I, a humble Daoist comic writer, to say what is good and what is bad?)

You'd think it would be *easier* to write a scene about impending doom when you're feeling a sense of impending doom.

But I have this weird inkling that this scene would be far easier to write if I were, for instance, staying at a Caribbean 5-star resort, rolling in $100 bills strewn across a four-poster bed, with Peg at my feet in a rubber catsuit, no dwindling job queue to worry about, a healthy rapprochement with my estranged sisters, and both my retinas free of sinister fatty deposits.

But hey, were would the romance be in that?

Oh, right. In the catsuit, the tropical resort, the restored sense of self-respect, and the large quantity of money. Huh.

Hey, GEICO?

One, marketing to me with Christmas themes is not an optimal method.

Two... um... it would probably also be helpful if you waited until I have a car?!

The new "infinite character length with a cut tag" thing here on awoo is nice. Gives it a bit of that Livejournal feel that I've been missing. Surprised more people haven't mentioned it!