Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

"Be patient. Your future will come to you and lie down at your feet like a dog who knows and likes you no matter what you are." -- Kurt Vonnegut (on Stephen Hawking's regret that we can not remember the future)

I want to create a series of memes, each of which has two copies of a connect-the-dots puzzle.

On the left is the "normie" solution: a duckie or kitty or fireman or whatever. On the right is the "rational" solution, where the dots are connected to read something like "SECRET MUSLIM" or "PIZZA BASEMENT" or "NO COLLUSION" in jagged, contorted, occasionally backwards letters.

A periodic reminder about my favorite online therapist, Chill The Lion:

https://codepen.io/Yakudoo/pen/YXxmYR

I don't think I would have made it through the last year if not for this guy. I'm tempted now and then to start a video stream where I just play with his mane for a few minutes a day. ^_____^

I ate an entire quarter pound of chocolate nougat from Trader Joe's in one sitting and I'm very pleased with myself.

My arbitration panel has denied your request.

https://i.imgur.com/pKthuCi.gifv

Without spoiling anything... I enjoyed the hell out of the casual bisexuality of last night's episode of The Good Place. ^__^

If you have *any* tolerance for sitcoms whatsoever, you should probably watch this show.

Rezeya's channel would just be old pirated episodes of the classic Martian Tiger sitcom, "Hey, They're Gonna Eat That Guy!", complete with the bloopers where they don't eat that guy and the 20-minute supercut of them eating those guys.

(That being said, I've been a lot happier since I started exercising three times a week, and sometimes my own problems have been nothing but Tigers Are Fucking Lazy.

If anything, my obesity is due to the shameful abundance of supermarkets, noodle houses, and bakeries in my neighborhood proportional to, say, slow but lean free-roaming gazelles. O:) )

But remember: it's "not genetic in the least," if you claim your metabolism is bad "you're just making excuses," and it's all something you could "just will yourself out of."

You know. Just like they said about depression. And poverty. And queerness. Nobody could possibly have a body that's just *better* at processing calories...

https://boingboing.net/2018/12/06/brown-fat-ftw.html

working the day jëøärrb and am quite bored

well, it worked for ray smuckles once, maybe it'll work for me

"Mastodon, what's the best thing you got?"

This is one of those days where I feel like I should be getting Eating Disorder Hazard Pay for my job.

Singaporean cafes. One after the next, interrupted mostly by Midwestern interstate diners, the sort where you can buy a fresh cinnamon roll the size of a throw pillow.

I would sell you all out to the Greys for a decent bowl of curry noodles right about now.

The Martian High Council is most pleased to honor Mr. Murderbritches for his brave stand against the Terran oppressors. He is hereby granted full Martian citizenship and has an officer's commission waiting for him upon naturalization, should he desire it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xcuJ3OPl8k (cw: futile tiny-kitty-on-human violence)

Google turning its logo gray as a memorial for Bush Sr. is a nice touch.

He was a very gray sort of man. It makes a lot of sense to celebrate his life by negating a rainbow effect.

Don't ever be afraid to show your true colors.

But do try to make sure those colors contrast properly with your true text.

Does anybody know where The Kids Are Going These Days for adult photoblogging, now that Tumblr is apparently on fire?

I'm thinking of using all this as an excuse to repost the content at https://dionysianscream.tumblr.com/ and maybe give it an update.

I know about the woman in Vienna and your little friend in the Syndicate. If 50,000,000 USD has not been wired to this Mastodon address by 12 midnight, a sealed letter will be delivered to the Times, the Post, and the head of MI6.

This is all for Dutchie, you sick bastard.

Good fucking god, Giuliani is stupid.

https://lawandcrime.com/high-profile/giuliani-doesnt-understand-how-someone-invaded-his-tweet-with-an-anti-president-message/

I am a cartography godling. I dispatch queries in bullet time. I am like the love child of John Wick and Buster Bluth.

#SheHasBustersEyes
#AndALooseSeal

get off my lawn

i'm keeping your kickball

also quit nosing around my spooky amusement park

no damn good tumblr kids i had to pay fourteen cents a minute long distance for this bullshit in '91

2400 baud and we were grateful for it