Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

I should probably watch this film soon. "Ghost" is a pretty good descriptor of my self-image right now. Angry, disruptive ghost that should have had the decency to dissipate and move on to another life ages ago. http://boingboing.net/2017/07/19/536588.html

I definitely need a therapy character and a place where it can exist without so much of the burden of being identifiable as me. God help me, maybe I'll take that Mayté, that turaco femme fatale, to Tapestries and bask in playing a character who's as toxic as I feel these days.

Sorry, forgot to "cw: self-pity" these again. This is all optional reading; you're basically watching my emotional sanitation engineers at work here. There's still plenty of hope and other good stuff in here, I guess.

I can at least try to make the process of my breakdown as entertaining and insightful for everybody as I can.

I'll be okay. Peg and I are doing fine for the moment, and I think plans to get her away from THE HUM will help both our sanity in the long run. I've got Parallax and day job to focus on.

Might still be scarce from community stuff for a while, as I fix the proverbial hole where the rain gets in, and stops my mind from wandering. Still love you; no promises about myself for a while.

Feeling a little grinchy, honestly. Seeing all the warmth and camaraderie in this community is leaving me this weird mix of happy and jealous.

It's not an unkind or hateful feeling, it's just very... J. Alfred Prufrock. I haven't felt this much like somebody's leftover chopped liver in such a long time.

Or, I dunno, I feel like I should dress up like Peter Lorre and start hissing like Renfield, maybe go find a nice rock to live under with all the other pestilential animals.

Yup. I'm definitely in the Mid-Western Total Perspective Vortex here.

Parents are doing okay. Stepdad is a little gaunt and tired but he's consistently 100% lucid, getting around, and in a pretty good mood.

Otherwise, meh. With nobody around, all the voices of self-hate have gotten pretty bad. Have had Mojave 3's "Trying To Reach You" and Pat Benatar's "We Belong" playing on repeat in my head all morning. Really afraid I'll come back to find my social & emotional lives have crashed for good.

Submitted without comment. https://awoo.space/media/7kogdLZXGhLFkfujXHA https://awoo.space/media/vQbUPYXGqifgizd3b_Q https://awoo.space/media/gzXdQcDOt3yhRy8hHXM https://awoo.space/media/-ZD2BZrDV6S04ooi45s

This Reddit comment touched on a couple things that seemed to be appropriate discussion fodder for this crowd.

Basically, they were making fun of a gal who babbled on a comment site about how her high clinical IQ and ADD interact, and I was trying to stick up for her.

I get real annoyed when people assume any admission of high intelligence is an attempt to impress them. Superbrights are common as dirt in this crowd and I'm not one. -_-

https://awoo.space/media/edsrcHC8NivjO9k6F4Y

At Seatac, waiting at my gate, a couple of hours early. Holding it together surprisingly well, especially given a bottle of soda exploded on my pants and nearly on my laptop. :O

The solitude is getting to me a little. Pardon me, I might be reaching out a little more than usual on Telegram and such for the next week. I could really use a bunch of hugs, and I'll accept virtual ones for lack of other options.

At least I've got something like 640 hours of media with me for the trip. :)

All over the emotional map again today. Heading home to Ohio tonight, returning ultra-late Monday night. Stepdad's nearly over his kidney infection, so at least I shouldn't be walking into anything too grim.

As soon as I get back, I start moving out of Transliminal for good. I'm still pretty rattled about this and how it happened. But Peg and I are coming to terms and making Plan A for improving our living quarters, and she's been absurdly gracious about all this.

Screw market research. This is a sex toy.

http://boingboing.net/2017/07/17/wrist-worn-wearable-for-monito.html

Meanwhile, got half my to-do list done with a single trip out. I even unlocked the "Party Like It's 1989" achievement! [Requirement: "accomplish something useful at a suburban shopping mall in 2017"]

These seem like a couple of nice kids! I'm so glad the furry youth of today are engaging in wholesome, healthy recreational activities. =^__^=

https://twitter.com/averydirtybun/status/876636670589771777

🌩 N E W S F L A S H 🌩

The Plushistani State Authority issued a statement declaring the decolonization of the Underbed region complete. Control will be ceded to the native dust-lapine population.

The Underbed, a sprawling plane of wooden planks & light varnish measuring over 60" × 80", was accidentally settled by Plushistani colonists in June 2014 after a series of tumbles.

State Secretary N'Kenge described the decolonization as "rrr, lick, purr" ("amiable").

The first 20 years of my life, in 30 seconds: https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=29&v=uPRa-6jUbVU

https://i.imgur.com/e5VPFJU.gifv #moodsnapshot

Still havin' a good emotional purge. I'm depressed, but as flavors of depression go, it's a nice wistful sort of melancholy. Very British, with pleasant undertones of stale anise candies and blackberry bramble. It's the sort I'd probably seek out for "fun" even if I didn't need to. And I did really need to.

Having a fairly productive day, too. Got a little ahead on map work for the week. Got in one last full meal from Transliminal's kitchen, which was important to me.

(Wil hasn't done anything to annoy me recently. This was all inspired by a glimpse of a furry's unfortunate attempt at a multi-crossover "dog detective" story, with a *very* unfortunately drawing of a beefed-up adult Scrappy... I'm just disproportionately amused by the idea of a grown-up Scrappy with Wil's personality.)

In my head canon, Scrappy Doo grows up to be a really condescending tech blogger who spends his days going from one nerd-related media cameo to the next. He makes a lot of self-effacing "I'll splat 'em" and "I'm the Scrappy of this group" jokes.

Because god, does Wil Wheaton irritate me. :)

@mawr Yeah, that sounds familiar. Get hugged, mawr. *hug*

Work today is largely pictures of central European metros at night. It's not helping my verklemptitude one bit, but damn, is it pretty.

https://goo.gl/maps/aUFf952rjJE2