Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

So, I guess this is S01E01 of my spinoff with @egypturnash So far, it's a romantic comedy with notes of GoT-style dark fantasy. I think it could have at least a full season in it!

Now I'm sitting here daydreaming about 25th-century identity politics arguments in the 12Fold universe. Woke mid-millennial kids all transmitting hypnosphere memes about how "Matter Doesn't Matter," and the Cis-Animate who self-identify as plush are no more or less valid than any other textile identity complex.

(For a much less cute take on this, ask me sometime about the Red Queen's Race and how it applies to identity politics and why I don't think true universal "safe space" can exist. :| )

It's... it's a plush chainsaw.

I have so many Textile-American friends who could use one of these.

http://www.factoryent.com/Zombie-SWAT-Chainsaw-p/408807.htm

Oh, dear. http://www.rubbers-finest.com/english/sites/masken.php?item=Videobrille

Tonight's miserable joy from work:

French ice cream shop.

http://www.glacier-txomin.com/galerie.html

* oh, and the taxi driver missed my exit and nearly crashed into a closed lane flasher :p but he still kept his mouth shut the whole trip and flagrantly ignored the speed limit so i still gave him a big tip

Oh, and since I never followed up, short version of trip:

* Delta failed up and bumped me an earlier flight in 1st class
* almost got into an altercation at CAK -- someone was getting abusive over some poor guy invading his "personal space"
* sat next to the sweetest old lady-- she talked the WHOLE FLIGHT but thought Parallax was really neat so whatever
* read comics: first half of Phonogram (hated), all of My Friend Dahmer (actually rather liked, was surprisingly sensitive...)

Uighur restaurant in Munich.

I mean, just... god damn it. 😅

#werk #foodhazard #charlesboyle

home at seatac! flight was weird but good weird? details later.

"Well, that was a freebie..."

They canceled my first flight out and I thought I was screwed there for a while, but I've been rebooked to go via Detroit instead of Atlanta -- I end up saving an hour and a half of travel time and probably won't even need a taxi now!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXeCLVsA5PQ

The latest earworm is Luna's cover of Serge Gainsbourg and Brigitte Bardot's "Bonnie and Clyde." But it's quite welcome here-- I might even breed and farm it.

Been thinking a lot about alternate me's in fictional universes, and I do hope there's one where Peg and I are into some serious bank robbery and look utterly stylish and sexy doing it.

She gets to pick the outfits; I get to pick the masks. And I get to do the "hoo-HOO-hoo" in the song, 'cause she can't carry a tune in a bucket. XD <3

I mean, for fuck's sake, the poor little shit's magical horns grow every time he TELLS A LIE.

I want to write my own version where his horns grow every time he does something noble, every time he protects someone, every time he pursues what he really wants without listening to the rest of the world.

Oh, his horns will still get him into trouble. That's what jackalopes DO. But sure as hell nobody's going to tell him he has to lose those beautiful prickly things over it.

Not in my world.

Argh, such heartbreak!

My mom got me a cute little children's book about jackalopes for my belated birthday, 'cause she knows jackalopes are my Thing.

Flipped through it this morning. God damn it, it's another one of those children's books that ruins a perfectly good story of personal transformation with a moral of "YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE ASPIRED TO BE SOMETHING YOU WEREN'T 'BORN' TO BE."

Grr. Hey, @egypturnash , wanna illustrate a kids' book about happy transjackalopes? >:D

Submitted without comment: https://twitter.com/CorrectNames/status/886969861343203329

Spending hours and hours and hours watching Roald Dahl's Tales of the Unexpected tonight was a really good idea. After watching your 14th or 15th ill-conceived crime of passion in a row, you kind of burn out on your own frustrations.

Still might have a nice leg of lamb when I get back to Seattle. >:D

This is the kind of cruelty that comes to mind when I'm stuck in Ohio too long:

Step 1: Become the manager of a large corporate office. Endeavor at all times to seem like the "fun boss."

Step 2: Convince your employers to have the entire office refurbished with nice, clean linoleum.

Step 3: Pick an arbitrary business day to be "Bring Your Dog To Work Day."

Step 4: Arrange to have the floors buffed and waxed at 7 am that day.

Step 5: Sit back and enjoy your Dog Capades.

Ooh, on the other hand, there is a massive thunderstorm kicking up right now, and that's the only thing because my parents that I ever really miss about NE Ohio.

(OK, that and my Aunt Jan's biscotti. I should go eat the rest of my Aunt Jan's biscotti. I love you, but in my current mood, not quite enough to bring them home to share. :p )