Meanwhile, I've been getting that awful feeling again, that I've pretty much drifted out of the lives of most of the locals, and it's basically my fault.

It is, really. I know I definitely withdrew good and hard after the fight with Keet and Orrery. I walked away from a lot of community spaces, like the Slack and the Eyrie rituals. And I don't really feel like there's a non-awkward way back into them.

I guess I just wanted to say that if I've been talking like I'm Just Done With Seattle Folks... I guess it's more of a warding behavior than something I actually *want*. Like, it's a way of preparing myself for something I really fear is true.

I still like and miss all of you Seattle people. Cripes, I still like Orrery and Keet-- that's why I'm staying the fuck AWAY from them, because we obviously need a few years apart, at the very least, to cool things down.

It's busy times, so I don't know if I really *could* do a lot of socializing anyhow. But I admit, I do really miss the big-group stuff.

I've avoided the rituals partly to give K and O a little space, and partly 'cause... honestly, the Celtic ritual calendar has never really spoken to me? But I'm super-glad they're happening.

Anyhow, dunno. Been torn between being bolder & Sparing You The Burden Of My Stripey Boorishness? 🐯​

But let's get sushi sometime, or something?