why did we ever think we could run a discord server for a social group consisting of primarily people who have been abused in the past
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i just feel really powerless here

i want to fix things but i don't know if things can even be fixed

i'm worried we're going to lose friends over this too
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in case anyone is worried about this, i will state that everyone involved in this knows about it, so this isn't about you if you don't know the specific incident i'm talking about that happened this morning/last night
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@Felthry (Nuzzles against.)

I'm sorry.

@Felthry

sometimes it's better to just. let things go.

@nautilee i don't know

i think i'm too depressed about all this to really think about it properly right now
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@Felthry Some things are just... not for you to fix. Adults can work problems out between themselves if they wish to.

Like, I don't know about your specific situation but you do have a tendency to feel responsible for fixing things. I understand WANTING to help, but... I don't know, you can't get involved in every problem ever. That's not healthy.

@socks i just worry about losing friends over this

one of them might be suicidal over the whole thing, i'm not sure
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@Felthry You can certainly offer your emotional support like you would to any other friend in need, of course. Just... don't fall into the trap of thinking you need to "fix the situation", I'd say

@Felthry rrrff... that's a tough place to be.

@Felthry Oh jeez. I'm sorry. Yes, that's an awful place to be.

My experience is that if people have a fight it is over something they care about. You can't change that except by listening as they need and maybe guiding them to ask what they want and whether they're getting it.

You can offer to pass along information, if either party wants.

These are limited tools, sorry to say. Sometimes though they and time will do the job, though.

@Austin_Dern unfortunately in this case it seems to have been a mistake one person made years ago and never realized was a mistake
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@Felthry Unfortunately, yeah, that's extremely hard. Being hurt by someone who didn't even know they were doing it can be worse than being hurt deliberately. At least if you're hit for a reason you can respect that.

If they can decide the other party sincerely regrets it and wants amends, reconciliation might be easy, but there's little you can do there. I'm sorry.

Good luck to you and you all.

@Felthry So, not knowing any specifics, I helped two friends of mine deal with pretty much exactly this. One hurt the other but had no idea they'd done anything wrong til I brought it up. As they'd been avoiding each other because of what happened, it took me suggesting to both of them to just sit down and talk about what happened.

I have no idea if this helps you any or not. Sorry in advance if not.