Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

I swear this is the most cheerful version of Hares on the Mountain. It doesn't sound like someone from Co. Sligo mourning a true love now lost forever or w/e like most versions I know/like/sing.

Every time I deal with this one I get better and better at dealing with it and every time I deal with it it’s still makes me wish I could just die

Still in bad headspace, fixing my mistakes as fast as I can, can break down over this in an hour

@Chip_Unicorn I can’t, I won’t, that’s for real artists who make good things

Give me one good reason that I deserve to continue

Here comes the Angry Adult Because Things Were Not Adequately Explained/Jon’s an Inherent Moron Failure Who Can’t Focus and Fucks Up feelings again. Managed to face this and ask how to correct without overwhelm, YET.

Boss, I feel you’re upset at me for things which weren’t adequately explained where most of the upset is you’re incredibly busy.

@wolfe congrats!

This is being such a bad night for sleep.

what a crummy stressful long weekend, really.

@kistaro I know our brains work differently, so this might be of limited use to you *but* what really kept me playing out self hate was;

* gave me a seemingly actionable distraction from what was upsetting me ( I could work on "fixing" myself, or suddenly instead of this unaffected thing upsetting me I was trying to step myself back from suicidal upset)
* directed any angry response inwards so it was less likely visible and punishable
* familiarity/what I was being told about myself

I'm wondering about that first part in particular as something you might have?

"Dump Money Habits that Ruin Your Wallet"

oh! "stop living in Seattle" I knew that one!

Wow. Having just seen Into the Spiderverse I NOW understand how obsessing about Miguel O’Hara’s ass prevented spoilers.

Here’s some photos of trees in a huge park from last weekend because I’m profoundly upset rn.

Realized; I’m upset because this is what I’m weak to. Not things to learn, things to make or experience, but tasks to complete to avoid punishment and, once completed, there are more tasks.

I know you're gonna say "but that'd just be Robocop," but I honestly feel Paul Verhoeven, with Basil Poledouris soundtrack, about the Dark Judges showing up in Mega City 1, would be the best possible Judge Dredd movie.

It’s been a while since I posted cooking. Here’s some Hainan style chicken I made with what chicken I could get cut price at the store.

okay, can I listen to "Take Me Down" without tearing up in public?

Nope.

fine, if it's gonna be THAT way, I may as well lean into it, and listen to "Fast Car," "Two Coffins" and "Kitty."

mood's moved to "I just wish I could die and get it done and over with" so I should wrap up and get some food.

It's always perspective to hear a small child have a complete meltdown. When you're 4, you're still feeling out things like having emotions, and you do NOT know that this isn't the only time you can get to play in this playroom, or that there might be other brownies to eat, etc, and it would be really easy for the adult around to really lose it and slam down. Everyone born human is potentially on a collision course with completely terrible emotional baggage.