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mh journaling 

now realizing;

* if I'm this mad, it's something that reminds me of childhood
* part of why I've had such terrible problems with self hate is directing anger inwards so I can't get into trouble for expressing it
* being angry/stuffing anger makes me more susceptible to the next irritation until I can be a lot less frequently dinged

so I was directing this much fucking incandescent rage inwards, for literally years on end. How do I still have a functioning GI tract?

Tired: KEXP’s making me wish I had American Spirits, coffee, and The Stranger

Wired: you don’t miss the trappings of 20+ years earlier, you miss being younger.

Inspired: you don’t miss being younger or its trappings you want things to be better in general.

A magnificent Smurftaur

the toy was marketed in the USA as Kill Me Now Smurf

Clackamas, named after where miners would go to amass clack. Or more accurately KLAX, because this was back in the 90s, when there was time for Klax.

"name a spice girl" okay there's Kyuzo, Honda Heihachi, Katayama Gorobei, Shimada Kanbei, Shichiroji, Kikuchiyo of course and I can never remember Shimada's apprentice's name

re: Steven Universe song lyrics, plurality 

@Bel_tamtu Steven and the Crystal Gems
come on now don't be shy
I learned to be true to myself

hey someone pointed out equalitymd.com/ and I feel like it might be useful

the realization that my mother's birthday is next weekend and I therefore have to lose another half-weekend being a Good Kid. This really drives home the need to take a day off for mental health next week as I literally can't do so this week.

Rain Dog boosted

when you think about Harry Potter it's weird how it's such a thing now; it's equivalent to if Lloyd Alexander's Prydain series were still being really hyped up in the 2000s, and also Alexander had decided to be a raging bigot.

translating Kojo no Tsuki into Yiddish and trying to pass it off as an old folksong "Sheint der Mesyets"

similarly translating "Beltz" to Japanese so it's a story about how the wind now blows through the torn shoji and broken walls of the narrator's minka where as a child he was so very happy

with around 90 minutes, I unpacked groceries, put beef into two different marinades, made sigumchi namul, breaded baked pork chops, and a lot of pad si ew with tofu for lunch

and weirdly during the entire thing was thinking of an old distinctly *not* east Asian folk song

youtu.be/gw7L-9hQdXY

Instead of eating weed or masturbating frantically to physically impossible scenarios, like a SANE person, I worked on .

@Oneironott I need any friend I can get if I'm going to get through this, so yes, you did.

oh NOOOOO it's the part of Labyrinth where she eats a poisoned peach and hallucinates so badly she thinks she's in the music video for Anne Lennox's "Walking on Broken Glass"

Labyrinth/Dune fanfic in which young Alia Atreides, tired of caring for her baby brother Paul, travels deep into the labyrinth to face the evil Feyd-Rautha Harkonen, but she has only 13 hours before he gets his heartplug inserted and becomes a Harkonen *forever*.

doo doo da doo doo doo da deedle
doo doo da doo doo doo da deedle

you remind me of the BULGE
what buldge?
the BULGE with the POWER
what power?
the power of uWu
who woo?
JOHN woo
john WHAT
reminds me of my BULGE

I SAW MY BABY CRYIN' HARD AS BABE COULD CRY
WHAT COULD I DOOOOO

Residents of Fremont have learned to fear the annual Ballard Nordic Festival, when swarms of armored raiders drawn by their neighbors’ far greater wealth drive east.

In fact, fearsome raiders from Ballard have voyaged as far as Queen Anne and even, supposedly, Georgetown.

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