Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

can't wait to get those neural net implants so social media can dump guilt trips directly into my cerebellum

* to the tune of Volga Boatmen *

acid reflux

#drawings last night, working on scale more.

I was feeling sad, and in sadness there's nothing to DO other than feel that way. For the past few months I've felt that I'm legitimately grieving all sorts of things, like five stages of grief, but if so what's acceptance look like? And I'd been thinking it was some Buddha like gentle peace with loss, but it isn't; it's SADNESS!

You can't feel sad if you're trying to anticipate the next attack, so frustrated you want to smash security cameras and Tesla windows, trying to make yourself shower and get outside, or thinking maybe just maybe Dems will manage to do the right thing and create safety, or whatever. Acceptance is SADNESS.

Took light rail to hang out at B&N for a while to get out of the apartment, worked on #coloring two #drawings, here's the one I finished out.

@Kusimanse Wanted to do a bestial swift-moving cavalry unit a little like Warhammer Chaos dwarf bull centaurs - but without just doing Assyrian bull centaurs again. What's more dwarven than a goat?

#drawings today

Oh yes the Human League. But now it’s time to take the mood down a little.

https://youtu.be/RLG1ys2CGcI

I'm told my first complete sentence was "look out the window everybody, a train! A train!"

hey WAIT I can eat oatmeal now. It's time for the Ergot Ridden Oatmeal advertising jingle!

the spirits white as lightning
all on me travels guide me
the moon would shake and the stars would quake
whenever they espied me

OH THE BLACKSMITH COURTED ME
NINE MONTHS AND BETTER
HE FAIRLY WON MY HAND WROTE ME A LETTER
WITH HIS HAMMER IN HIS HAND
HE LOOKED SO CLEVER
AND IF I WERE WITH MY LOVE
I'D LIVE FOREVER
OH WHERE HAS MY LOVE GONE, WITH HIS CHEEKS LIKE ROSES?
HE'S GONE ACROSS THE SEA
GATHERING PRIMROSES
I'M AFRAID THE SHINING SUN
WOULD BURN AND SCORCH HIS BEAUTY
AND IF I WERE WITH MY LOVE, I WOULD DO MY DUTY

CROSS THE RIVER LEAVE THE ABYSS
GIVE THE SEAT OF THE TOILET A KISS
EACH VIRGIN SACRIFICE SPEAKS THESE MAGIC WORDS
"JUST JIGGLE THE HANDLE, LET FLOW GO THE TURDS!"
AH! HERE IT COMES BABY, AH'M DROPPIN' MAH LOAD
AH AIN'T JUST UP ON IT, AH *AM* TH' COMMODE!
THE POWER OF THE TOILET MUST NEVER BE ABUSED
HE MUST BE SPONGED HE MUST BE PLUNGED LEST CARNAGE SHALL ENSUE
IF A DEAD SHEEP WERE TO CLOG HIM, WHO KNOWS WHAT WOULD ARISE
MAYBE HE'D SUMMON THE MASTER. WOULDN'T THAT BE A SURPRISE!

sure there’s romantasy, but people are going nuts about spamtasy, the new genre about hanging out eating fried luncheon meat

I'd been thinking about ADHD (I think ADHD explains why no matter when the last little treat for myself was, it always feels like it was weeks ago, and how also how my anger in response to politics is essentially frustration) *and* a friend reposting something very hard hitting about aging being grieving.

Late last year, I realized I was grieving very literally, that I went through the stages of grief and I think ADHD problems with frustration is why I bounce between anger and depression a lot;

* denial (but this can't be happening, these people are supposed to be knowing and caring)
* bargaining (well maybe if I'm a better person and not be an angry monster and work harder and)
* anger (oh FUCK THIS! FUCK THIS STACKED SYSTEM! FUCK EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS!)
* depression (I can't change this situation because I'm innately a fuck up/it's been engineered to keep me stuck/anger only gets me in trouble rather than saves me from trouble, all I can do is sit and wait for something to let me escape)
* acceptance (I have no idea what this actually looks like)

Earlier I realized; any demographic, even a relatively tiny one like Jews, trans folk, or nerds is still huge; we number in the millions. So telling me we’re all successful coders, lawyers, doctors, aerospace engineers, etc., is literally untrue and I need not feel shame or rejection for being a poor, old, gray ace, and yet also a furry fan.

I AM TIRED OF THESE FUCKING EARTH RAPISTS GETTING TO DESTROY OUR FORESTS AND NOTHING CAN STOP THEM

I WANT OUR FOREST SERVICE BACK

I WISH ALL OF YOU NOTHING BUT HOURS OF FUCKING AGONY YOU SHIT YOU SHIT YOU SHIT

MAY YOUR RELIGION NEVER REASSURE YOU AND MAY EVERY FUCKING BURGER YOU LOOK FORWARD TO TASTE LIKE WOOD SHAVINGS

misinterpreting "TTRPG" to generate two entirely different games;

Boob Fighters, a titty RPG about your bust size culminating in visiting the fabled extraplanar City of Bras

a 1/120th scale RPG using models somewhere between HO and N scales to play out highly tactical scenarios

@Dreamstroph *hugs*!

@eredien I was lucky enough not just to have a few psychadelic trips but to have them with a very supportive friend, and I lucked into a very good therapist, and some other bits of luck helped (I got free during the 90s, I had a few years of living in a rent controlled place, and someone posting about their ADHD experience helped a lot of childhood make sense). Even with that, it's been a real haul -- and of course the world's gotten a lot more difficult, somehow.

Initially I figured on saying this sometime this year, but with two weeks before Trump drags us into further war, now sounds like a good time.

Basically; a kid can potentially not just survive but thrive in adulthood with unmedicated ADHD and related CPTSD. A kid can potentially thrive after having nearly died/lost a limb in a bad accident, OR being minority/Queer in an ultraconservative area, OR growing up with abusive parents and schools. But odds are against them experiencing ALL of this and still coming out in okay emotional health.