There’s the food trucks parked in Reseda
There’s a freeway runnin’ through the yard
Now I’m a bad boy cause I won’t eat her cooking
Cause of dairy and it gives me the farts
Yes I’m free, free fallin’!
mh, journaling
so I want to avoid making my pessimism a self-fulfilling prophecy.
This is very easy while feeling trapped, stuck and treading water; coming from a background of catastrophising; influenced by how all it takes is some malicious intent to make everything harmful feel actively malicious (remember, some of the governments' actions are intentionally malicious); and sabotaged by ADHD/CPTSD inability to think of a future.
In other words I'm living through the sort of very frequent low level negatives which are what kept me in a cycle of self-hate and despair for decades, so even though I know my perception slants a lot more negative than actual (and potentially negative!) reality, this is VERY seductive for me - very hard not to buy into, totally.
@CoyoteTraveller the unfortunate thing lately is; my job is isolating and requires me to stay in the same place for quite some time. This means I'm a lot more likely to wind up on social media. When we weren't living in an unprecedented political disaster this led to a lot less upset, and I feel like I need to walk my involvement back.
Also, of course, we've moved from the "I want to skip work so I can be inside" to "I want to skip work so I can be outside" seasons.
“ the New Age of customer service is AI first”
No, it isn’t. I’ve worked with AI just enough to know that invariably it’ll fuck up, and some actual person who is not getting paid enough will now be stuck dealing with a customer, who is now more frustrated because the first layer of stuff they went through didn’t work as advertised.
Anyway as you’re probably here for #drawings more than for my declining mental health (*I’m* here for my drawings more than my declining mental health anyway), here’s last night’s.
basically SW fandom solves towards exploring characters who have something individualistic about them, so any Imperial who gets a line or any alien. You never knew that dude third from Boba Fett when he's on the Sail Barge, is named Siegfried Bassoon and is there fundraising for environmental suits for disadvantaged youth.
I think most people have never been in a situation where the system was so obviously not there for them/so obviously self interested at their cost. Unfortunately for me, I haven't been in that sort of situation since my self-worth was a lot worse as a coping mechanism, so this is new territory for me, as well; the flip side of "hey I don't think of killing myself daily" is apparently "I'm angry and low on energy."
Here's the thing with my Polish ancestors;
My great grandfather's family were blond, blue eyed, had names like "Adolph," and spoke fluent German - not Polish. Despite this they always maintained they were Poles. (They were also SHORT. I've seen photos of them next to my Grampa, who barely made the NYPD's 5'6" height requirement.)
My best guess is either they were Silesian, OR decided Poles were a lot more popular in their new country (they came over a little bit before WWI), or possibly both.
#drawings from or finished up today. You can probably tell where I got tired. CW, futuristic firearms and cartoon but bloodless violence.
#drawings from or finished up today. You can probably tell where I got tired. CW, futuristic firearms and cartoon but bloodless violence.
@anthracite He actually had some Erol Otus in there, would you believe? He also kinda rushed over Larry Elmore/Clyde Caldwell/Keith Parkinson/etc to get to his thesis that 5e art like 5e is sort of an appeal to people who grew up on LotR, the MCU, Harry Potter/Percy Jackson etc. I don't necessarily buy that, but I do think having most illustrators come from the same generation and just how technique *leapt* forward in the 200s has an effect.
Lots of random gunk, but some drawings and cooking talk too. Obsesses about DnD and related topics. Left-leaning/profoundly frustrated politics. Black lives matter; trans rights are human rights.
Occasionally NSFW art and discussion, please do follow if you're 18+.