Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

So much stuff to do, to learn and draw. Hands, faces, lower legs and feet. Various skeletons.

when suddenly WHOO HOO ANXIETY. I guess awake in the middle of the night is something I'm currently doing.

I'd never listened to Hayasaka's non movie work - I mostly know him for scoring Seven Samurai - and wasn't expecting it to be really lush romanticism.

Fumio Hayasaka: Piano Concerto in D minor (1948) https://youtu.be/rNEEQMR6750 via @YouTube

A particularly easy to stomp button.

So I made myself sweet potatoes vaguely based off Yotam Ottolenghi's sweet potatoes with figs. Food photo.

If I get off shift even vaguely at a normal time I’m going to draw so much dumb D&D bullshit.

I just wish I could die in an honorable and preferably painless as possible fashion and not need to deal with any of it.

Okay I emailed off a request for a raise to $20/h, and noted that I understand I may need to negotiate for less. I am pissed. The. Fuck. Off.

This close to saying find another admin assistant.

This morning I am very much feeling that Jon the fencer, the wing tsun student, the capoeirista, the model railroader, the weightlifter, the modeler, the miniature painter, who was getting therapy, all went away due lack of time and money and, a little like Jon the hiker, cook and artist are also largely going away in favor of being an employee, commuter and dutiful son.

Oh yeah Steeleye Span’s “A Winter’s Banditry” album featuring upbeat folk songs like “Two Murdered Brothers,” “My Bonny Sailor Ended in Bedlam,” and “Three Spinsters Caught the Plague in York Tra La La La Ley.”

This morning I am very much feeling that I was born into anger which I didn’t ask for, which only gets worse, and that it’s probably shortened my life considerably. Guess it’s time for coffee.

I'm starting to feel that the only things America was ever about was being shitty to Black people in particular, and being shitty to everyone else.

aww man you have to pay to see Killer Klowns from Outer Space? Heinous.

I *really* need to get back into capoeira. Played a little which helped shake the crappy mood, hopefully did not bug downstairs neighbors. Also I feel like learning a diasporic martial art is good as mindfulness.

so I called my senators and left voice messages big fuckin' whoop.

Dude YOU May be working from home but I’M NOT so maybe consider letting me get the fuck out of here before fucking 1830? OR PAY ME MORE

Compare and contrast the following Zeppelin songs;

* No Quarter -“duuuude, the battle of Stamford Bridge was like real sad and stuff. Dude, do you want tacos?”

* Immigrant Song - “Foul spawn of Jormangundr, know ye now the wrath of mine DANE AXE!”

Some sort of shitty anxiety attack thing? Yep. I'm not really sure what that's about.

I really hate how all the "reduce stress" articles always wind up saying the same stuff, and it always feels like there's an assumption of middle class free time and income. The whole thing seems so paternalistic and dismissive that maybe there's stuff I really can do which I frustratedly feel like I can't.